Can anyone here recommend a good middle school close to SOMA?

My kid has Aspergers, and is doing poorly at MMS. He is totally lost. So, I am looking to take him out of the district. Any recommendations for a good school for someone going into 8th grade that is reading above level, failing math, and has some behavioral issues? I want a school that isn't too far away. Thanks!

Hi Michele,

Two questions: 1) are you looking for a public school district with perhaps more support, or b) are you looking for private/possible special needs schools?

Wishing all the best to you and the sweet child in question!

This was a few years ago - but a neighbor's child had some of the same issues- the district sent him out of the area to the Calais School in Whippany - arranged the busing and the entire program. He was able graduate from HS that way and is currently working and appears to have been successful. Good luck!

I've heard good things about Calais. Also Newmark in Scotch Plains.

http://newmarkschool.com

Thank you all for replying! I am looking for a private special ed school. I have not heard of Calais, and will check it out. I am also going to look at Newmark. Today, I am going to The Children's Institute. I visited Banyan in Fairfield, and was impressed.

Some schools I have crossed off my list because the focus is on reading and learning disabilities, which my child doesn't have. Other schools focus on emotional issues. I have crossed off the schools where those issues go much deeper than what my child faces. For example, some populations have abused kids.

I never thought it would be so hard finding a school, and I am a proponent of public education. I am just finding that the SOMA school district isn't meeting the needs of my child.

Thanks again!

There a PTA-type organization for parents with children serviced by the M-SO school district (either in district, or out of district) and that might be a good group to reach out to with your question. I'll go see if I can find a link and edit it back in here. It's very likely that these parents can give you specific and current info about the different schools and their feelings about them.

eta: here's a link to the Special Ed PTO page of the school district's site: http://www.somsd.k12.nj.us/Page/215
The link will show you emails and phone contact info for the parents who are the officers of this organization - hope they can help you gather the info you're looking for.

The Winston School

Well crud I just wrote a long post and lost it. I'll give a basic list and come back to fill in details if I get time later

Windsor Learning Center Pompton Lakes

Sage Day Mahwah

Shepard school Morristown.

I was not impressed with chapel hill or Calais when I visited.

Newmark is supposed to be great.

The Craig School

Hi Michele - just sent you an email. We are experiencing the same issue. I'm also looking at private schools.

Two friends were very happy with Winston for their Asperger-ish kids (info is from 10 years ago or so, though). Best wishes!

The Winston School is more about learning differences such as dyslexia. The other schools mentioned are much more appropriate. Good luck to OP let us know where you land.

Winston Prep, not Winston/Short hills. New campus in whippany/Randolph??

I spent half a day at Newmark and while it is undoubtedly an amazing school, most of the kids appeared to have severe emotional and behavioral issues. If ur child doesn't have those issues, then Newmark may not be a good fit.

Calais.

cody said:

There a PTA-type organization for parents with children serviced by the M-SO school district (either in district, or out of district) and that might be a good group to reach out to with your question. I'll go see if I can find a link and edit it back in here. It's very likely that these parents can give you specific and current info about the different schools and their feelings about them.

eta: here's a link to the Special Ed PTO page of the school district's site: http://www.somsd.k12.nj.us/Page/215
The link will show you emails and phone contact info for the parents who are the officers of this organization - hope they can help you gather the info you're looking for.

Special Ed PTA is a great thing, but is there any interest in starting a less formal face-to-face drinks group, coffee klatch or lunch club for those of us dealing with these issues in SOMA (and beyond)?

I'd love to discuss these questions off the internet, and hear how others are dealing with everything from making our schools work to picking an OOD school to actually getting the District to agree that an OOD placement might be needed...not to mention perhaps thinking of additional ways to help and support parents who are first entering the complex and sometimes isolating world of Special Education.

If interested, feel free to answer me here or by private message, perhaps with a sense of whether day or evening works better for you.

A neighbor moved from Maplewood to Millburn for the sake of her Aspergers kid. He is doing well in 6th grade at Millburn Middle School. Email me if you'd like me to put you in touch.

So while we are at it...anyone know where there is a twice exceptional program? I agree with this post right here. Super smart High functioning kids with ADHD, or ODD, or behavioral issues, or just that awkwardness from mild Aspie's isn't going to fit in at most of the "out of district" placements.

bklyngirl said:

I spent half a day at Newmark and while it is undoubtedly an amazing school, most of the kids appeared to have severe emotional and behavioral issues. If ur child doesn't have those issues, then Newmark may not be a good fit.

My research uncovered that mild aspies as u call them, which is my child, don't belong in out of district placements, but either in a good public school or a private school such as oak knoll, pingry if the public school setting is too large and not structured enough. I only mention oak knoll and pingry because they're the only ones people mentioned to me as they're being happy with. I'm sure other privates in the area are good too.

One of the best things I did was visit out of district schools when trying to determine whether my child was in the right setting-he was and our district is it for now. However I can see us transferring out come middle school which is soon. All depends how he does - take it one year at a time.

Spend a significant amount of time at the out of district school-observe the students, classrooms, teachers, etc. Talk to as many people as u can and ask yourself if ur child is really like the others. Good luck.

My only significant thought here is to say that at local privates, such as Pingry and OKS (mentioned above), you won't necessarily find teachers/staff trained in special education. Privates can hire anyone they choose, regardless of training. It could be that one or two staff members can provide an excellent experience based on their training -- just ask about that, since it's always possible that if they left or switched roles, that experience would go with them.

This is obviously not true at schools with a particular focus on, say, language disorders/Asperger's and so on.

I'd say that some "mild aspies" can do fine in a public school or a Pingry (if you can afford it). Others have such troubles with ADHD, behavioral issues, etc. that they struggle in public school as their social/organizational/focus/executive function deficits lead to academic failures, and make them unlikely to be admitted to or succeed at Pingry or other mainstream private schools.

I echo mestaunton's' request for knowledge about any schools that work well for "twice exceptional" kids who are not thriving in the public school and don't currently have the skills/records to succeed at mainstream private schools.

Are there actually schools in our area that focus on Asperger's and similar populations and do well with gifted kids? Do any of them do better than others at giving the brightest students access to advanced level coursework and the academic expectations that go with it (to the extent that the students are able)?

I wonder how the Hudson School fares with twice exceptional kids.

Getting close to the point of seriously pulling my kid from middle school as well. It's been over 2 weeks now of trying to get an appointment to review the 504 plan we have - which is not working! Not one email or phone message has been responded to.

I am with Susan, I wish there was a school that worked with our kids, rather than throwing them in the mainstream and letting them flounder. As the work gets harder, more responsibility placed on their shoulders, etc, if the foundation is not set, how will they succeed??

dk50b said:

Getting close to the point of seriously pulling my kid from middle school as well. It's been over 2 weeks now of trying to get an appointment to review the 504 plan we have - which is not working! Not one email or phone message has been responded to.

I am with Susan, I wish there was a school that worked with our kids, rather than throwing them in the mainstream and letting them flounder. As the work gets harder, more responsibility placed on their shoulders, etc, if the foundation is not set, how will they succeed??

I'd say to give up on the 504 plan, request classification, and be ready to fight if your child isn't failing dramatically enough to impress the middle school CST. Happy to say more, but not online.

The transition to middle school was extremely trying, and I am an not impressed with our District's capabilities or approach to kids with issues like Asperger's in middle and high school. Not impressed at all. We are dreadful at both Asperger's support and gifted education.

Thanks to everyone for weighing in. I have dropped everything to do my research. I've read websites, called schools and interviewed admissions personnel, and when the program sounded good for my child, I went on a site visit. So far, I'm impressed with Banyan School in Fairfield. Tomorrow I will go to Calais. I went to a few schools that just didn't work for my kid.

This really is individual. Some schools focused more on learning disabilities in reading and reading comprehension--that is not my child. Others have programs where kids will see a therapist once a week--my kid needs to have someone in the school at all times to speak to. Other programs are behavioral based for kids with serious issues. That is not my kid either.

Banyan seemed to fit. Tomorrow it's Calais, and I have a call into the Shepherd School. I really wish my kid would fit in at MMS. On a lot of levels it's a good school with some amazing teachers. However, he is so lost here. It seems that once our kids leave elementary school for middle and high school the programs drop off. Having ESS at the HS is good, but I know my kid would be totally overwhelmed and lost there.

I also heard that Amy Pitucco, Social Worker, will be leading the ISTEP program that is replacing ESS at MMS. She has her work cut out for her since she will be overseeing a program similar to ESS and will be doing the job of 2 counselors.

I am still upset at the district for waiting to the last minute to tell us that ESS at MMS is going away. That is why I am scrambling to find a school for my kid to enter in September. I really appreciate everyone's feedback. Thank you all!

Susan - if only it were that easy. my kid is the one who falls through the cracks. we are on our 4th iep attempt right now. Not sure if you got my message but I would be happy to join a face to face group to discuss ways to deal with all of this. It has to be evenings since I work full time.

It's so hard to find a good fit for the mild-aspies - they're all so different. My child was always incredibly verbal and perceptive. Always aware of the surroundings, people and people's expressions, etc. My friend's child - none of these traits but incredibly social. Go figure! Just have to keep looking for what's best for them and know that you're not alone.

dk50b said:

Susan - if only it were that easy. my kid is the one who falls through the cracks. we are on our 4th iep attempt right now. Not sure if you got my message but I would be happy to join a face to face group to discuss ways to deal with all of this. It has to be evenings since I work full time.

Didn't mean to imply it is simple -- just misread you as being at an earlier stage in the process.

I've messaged you back...I'll reach out to people about setting up a face to face time since I've had some responses.

I recommend taking a look at http://www.southmountaincoop.org/ (South Mountain Co-Op on Franklin St, Maplewood.) Their philosophy is Democratic Free. This was a new concept to me until a few months ago. My daughter has been suffering at the hands of Public School (not in Maplewood/SO, and after going to an Open House at South Mountain Co-op, I am taking the plunge and enrolling her beginning in the Fall. They are determined to keep the tuition affordable too, and have a sliding scale depending on income. In my case, being divorced and having custody, they only consider the custodial parent's income.

As for Newmark, I think the only way to get in there is if your district is paying for it. Not sure if they would be affordable for a regular family??

^ That's an interesting suggestion. I wonder how they address SPED needs at that school?

My child went to a progressive, child-led program and it was a disaster. My child felt unmoored and behavioral issues started appearing out of nowhere. And fell behind academically. Other kids with challenging behaviors started feeding off each other. The staff was amazing, but ultimately not prepared to address the complex needs of many of the children whose families were drawn to the school. As another poster noted, mainstream private schools are often less equipped to educate and support children with unique needs than public schools. Good schools will be upfront about what they can and cannot accommodate. Others will happily take your tuition any way.