Color/Feedback on Pingry/NA/Kent Place

While we have not heard back from these 3 NJ schools yet, based on my elder daughter's results so far from the NYC schools, we are optimistic of her chances at getting in (she got into Horace Mann, Spence, Nightingale and Riverdale for Grade 6). Her younger sister is applying for Grade 4 and was only eligible to apply to Nightingale where she did get in. I think her chances are good that she can get into Pingry and Kent Place as her academics and test scores are stronger. 

I have been advocating for Spence/Nightingale or Horace Mann, but my wife prefers schools in NJ as she wants to move to a Essex or Morris County suburb instead of apartment living in NYC (we currently live in an apartment as well in Hudson County). 

We are looking for strong breadth and depth across academics (esp. STEM which can sometimes be weak for private schools given their historical liberal arts focus), athletics (daughter has been pretty good in sprints so far where she has competed in AAU/USATF events at regional level), arts (daughter is pretty good in Piano, Painting and has recently shown a keen interest in making multimedia presentations/short movies), good distinguished speaker series, enriching EC Clubs with strong student participation. 

My wife is very keen on sending them to Kent Place as she values a girls-only education and they have a older cousin already there. To me passing on Spence to go to Kent seems like a big step down. Kent Place also seems less diverse than Pingry and Newark Academy. 

We don't want a total pressure cooker  but we also don't want any compromises on academics. Maybe there is no best option. In general my older daughter is a strong, resilient kid and I think she can handle some academic pressure. I value excellence over other criteria (not just in academics but also the other areas mentioned), my wife is willing to make some tradeoffs there if she thinks kid will be overall happier.

Thanks in advance for any insight!

Private schools should be illegal. All they do is divide us.

Be best.

Stick with Spence. Does KP or Pingry have a pony? I don’t think so.

Hey, teacher, leave them kids alone.

Color/Feedback .......

What does 'Color" mean in this context?

drummerboy said:

Color/Feedback .......

What does 'Color" mean in this context?

I took it the way I take it in the term “local color.”

I don’t have any insight, njparent, but if you haven’t already used MOL’s search function to look for past discussions about the schools, you might find it informative. I tested a search for Kent Place, with the “Search all phrase” and “All comments” buttons checked, and several comments came up. I’m sure the same thing would happen for Newark Academy and Pingry, and for more concentrated discussions you could refine the searches for “Titles only.”

DaveSchmidt said:

I don’t have any insight, njparent, but if you haven’t already used MOL’s search function to look for past discussions about the schools, you might find it informative. I tested a search for Kent Place, with the “Search all phrase” and “All comments” buttons checked, and several comments came up. I’m sure the same thing would happen for Newark Academy and Pingry, and for more concentrated discussions you could refine the searches for “Titles only.”

 Thanks Dave for the advice I did find some useful threads.

drummerboy said:

Color/Feedback .......

What does 'Color" mean in this context?

 For you it means Green - the Color of Envy and Jealousy. 

njparent said:

drummerboy said:

Color/Feedback .......

What does 'Color" mean in this context?

 For you it means Green - the Color of Envy and Jealousy. 

When my cousin got into Harvard, his Mom drummed out of his Dad the urge for that to be the first thing to come out of his Dad's mouth when meeting people.

I know this is an anonymous message board, and I know I'm from a working-class family, but what little I've learned about the upper class is that this is generally not how this type of inquiry is done. Especially not as a very first post...

Anyway, welcome to MOL.

My daughter's classmate at Clinton school was admitted to Pingry, and I hope it has served her well. There seems to be academic pressure. In addition, there may be some social pressure and extreme wealth, leading to an expectation to make significant donations in addition to paying tuition.

njparent said:

drummerboy said:

Color/Feedback .......

What does 'Color" mean in this context?

 For you it means Green - the Color of Envy and Jealousy. 

I venture an opinion on private schools, and you think I'm jealous of you?

wow.

drummerboy said:

I venture an opinion on private schools, and you think I'm jealous of you?

wow.

Well you ventured an opinion suitable for a Communist country rather than America and then followed up with a troll attempt to put a racial twist on the well-known formulation of seeking "color" in the context of details/info/insight so frankly I don't give a damn what you think or contribute in this thread. 
 

sprout said:

When my cousin got into Harvard, his Mom drummed out of his Dad the urge for that to be the first thing to come out of his Dad's mouth when meeting people.

I know this is an anonymous message board, and I know I'm from a working-class family, but what little I've learned about the upper class is that this is generally not how this type of inquiry is done. Especially not as a very first post...

Anyway, welcome to MOL.

My daughter's classmate at Clinton school was admitted to Pingry, and I hope it has served her well. There seems to be academic pressure. In addition, there may be some social pressure and extreme wealth, leading to an expectation to make significant donations in addition to paying tuition.

 I mentioned it to pre-empt the question about discussing it after I knew they had options in NJ. Due to the timing of NYC school decisions there is a deadline to respond by Tuesday next week.

Regarding donations I think people over-estimate how much is required. Yes there will be a annual drive for donations, but there is no set minimum. Can being a big donor buy you more influence with the admin? Sure but that doesn't mean the kids of the small donors are getting a second class experience. Most of these schools have a fair bit of financial aid students (15%-20%) and are certainly more diverse (not just race but also economics) than affluent suburban public school districts. We won't be at the top of the wealth/income distribution at these schools but also not at the bottom so I think it will be OK. I have had a chance to interact with some parents coming from less affluent backgrounds at the NYC schools and everyone was full of praise for their child's experience. The schools really do make an effort to make sure that wealth of parents does not impact classroom/student dynamics.  

P.S. I could honestly care less about what "upper class" mores are about this discussion. I am not trying to send anyone a signal of my social class and could care less if people find it too uncouth to ask pointed questions like this. 

@drummerboy is right

Wow

You have an apartment in NYC and Hudson Country

You are thinking of moving to Essex or Morris County

You are not asking one question about Maplewood, South Orange and surrounding towns as a community or culture, it’s school systems, commuter questions or diversity. You have Basically  stated you have no interest in ANY public school education. 

And, as a non-member of any local community you get all sorts of angry over the verbiage you used and someone said something about.  I too found  the use of the word ‘color’ racist, hidden white privilege speak, problematic, rude and without benefit to your question.  But that’s just my Commie interpretation. 

Based on all the above... why did you write on the board? 
.  

njparent said:

drummerboy said:

I venture an opinion on private schools, and you think I'm jealous of you?

wow.

Well you ventured an opinion suitable for a Communist country rather than America and then followed up with a troll attempt to put a racial twist on the well-known formulation of seeking "color" in the context of details/info/insight so frankly I don't give a damn what you think or contribute in this thread. 
 

njparent said:

P.S. I could honestly care less about what "upper class" mores are about this discussion. I am not trying to send anyone a signal of my social class and could care less if people find it too uncouth to ask pointed questions like this. 

 Geeze, you really wanna move here? ‘Cause I have a feelin you’re really pissin offa whole lotta people with your uncouth mores.

We figgered out yer Social Class in the first sentence y’all posted, so you can jest reinforce that with every one of yer high falutin posts

This not being a "Communist country", everyone is entitled to express his/her opinion.

Change 'color" to "vibe?"

MsSumida said:

 

 I never said I have an apartment in NYC you should read more carefully - I said I live in Hudson County. I have actually been considering Maplewood as a place to buy a home in along with other nearby suburbs and I have driven through there and gone to a few open houses. But it is good to know people in Maplewood feel so strongly about those parents who choose private school educations. We would certainly not want to be stigmatized for exercise the freedom we have as a parent to provide the best education we can to our children.  

It is kind of amusing to me that residents of a progressive suburb are so hot and bothered about my "lack of social class". I make no apologies for getting straight to the point but it is clear there isn't much information to be had anyway. I had assumed there was a decent cohort from Maplewood sending kids to one or more of these NJ private schools based on bus routes but maybe not or perhaps those parents don't want to post their opinions publicly because of prickly people like some of the posters here. I will be sure to take Maplewood off my list of NJ suburbs I was looking to buy a home in, because clearly there are a vociferous few who think sending a kid to a private school or seeking advice about the same is threating to their self-esteem.

There are certainly a few people sending their children to private schools but when someone is paying $20,000.00 + in taxes for the Public Schools, among other things, and the Public Schools are providing a first-rate education there is little incentive to pay tuition for Private Schools.

There are many, however, who choose religious education at Catholic schools.

Please take West Orange off too.

Why?  WO is a community.  We look out for each other and we support each other.  We do not use entitlement or ‘class standing’ as a basis for eduction, friendship or community.  Much like SOMa, our communities are  alike in community spirit with amazing events and cultural happenings.

West Orange is among the most diverse community in NJ and we consider that a privilege and point of pride.  Like most of Essex County schools are also diverse and the kids overall get along and make lifelong friends. Upon graduation, they go to the Service Academies, Ivy League Schools, Community Colleges or whatever they want KNOWING they had the best education they wanted.

Honestly, if you’re approach wasn’t so frostY and entitled, you would get the answers you need and find the community you would like to live in.

njparent said:

It is kind of amusing to me that residents of a progressive suburb are so hot and bothered about my "lack of social class". I make no apologies for getting straight to the point but it is clear there isn't much information to be had anyway. I had assumed there was a decent cohort from Maplewood sending kids to one or more of these NJ private schools based on bus routes but maybe not or perhaps those parents don't want to post their opinions publicly because of prickly people like some of the posters here. I will be sure to take Maplewood off my list of NJ suburbs I was looking to buy a home in, because clearly there are a vociferous few who think sending a kid to a private school or seeking advice about the same is threating to their self-esteem.

njparent said:

It is kind of amusing to me that residents of a progressive suburb are so hot and bothered about my "lack of social class". I make no apologies for getting straight to the point but it is clear there isn't much information to be had anyway. I had assumed there was a decent cohort from Maplewood sending kids to one or more of these NJ private schools based on bus routes but maybe not or perhaps those parents don't want to post their opinions publicly because of prickly people like some of the posters here. I will be sure to take Maplewood off my list of NJ suburbs I was looking to buy a home in, because clearly there are a vociferous few who think sending a kid to a private school or seeking advice about the same is threating to their self-esteem.

OK. 

So, you've learned you don't want to live here, which is valuable information. 

When reviewing the other private school threads you searched, you may want to examine the differences in the ones where the original poster called other posters "Jealous" or "Communist" or referred to other posters' "self-esteem", vs. those that were more informative and civil discussions. This may also provide valuable information.

njparent said:

drummerboy said:

I venture an opinion on private schools, and you think I'm jealous of you?

wow.

Well you ventured an opinion suitable for a Communist country rather than America and then followed up with a troll attempt to put a racial twist on the well-known formulation of seeking "color" in the context of details/info/insight so frankly I don't give a damn what you think or contribute in this thread. 
 

I put a racial twist because I asked what you meant by "color"?

wowiewow

I find it a little hard to believe that the OP is serious, actually. I mean they've presented as an almost perfect caricature of... well, I'll let the reader fill in the blank.

@njparent don’t take it personally, it’s just the way these progressives like to operate. My wife and I initially moved to Maplewood for the schools, but when that time came, we decided that private school was a better fit for our child. @drummerboy is certainly entitled to his opinion, but it’s just that, an opinion, which are like a**holes, everybody has one. I’m sure if he walked the campus at Pingry, or KPS, he would observe quite a diverse group of kids from varying backgrounds and races. 

As far as your “color” comment, I’ve been asked for “color” in both a work/educational context by Blacks, Asians, Hispanics, Whites, Lesbians, Jews, Hindus, Muslims, and any other group you can think of. It’s a common and heavily used colloquialism that I have observed in the corporate and academic world. 

And for those of you trying to put a political twist on it and play word games, put away your copy of Rules for Radicals. Maybe take your mask off like a normal human while your at it. Or are you as Aldous Huxley so aptly described: “the victim of mind manipulation that does not know he’s a victim”?

prisoners_dilemma said:

@njparent don’t take it personally, it’s just the way these progressives like to operate. My wife and I initially moved to Maplewood for the schools, but when that time came, we decided that private school was a better fit for our child. @drummerboy is certainly entitled to his opinion, but it’s just that, an opinion, which are like a**holes, everybody has one. I’m sure if he walked the campus at Pingry, or KPS, he would observe quite a diverse group of kids from varying backgrounds and races. 

As far as your “color” comment, I’ve been asked for “color” in both a work/educational context by Blacks, Asians, Hispanics, Whites, Lesbians, Jews, Hindus, Muslims, and any other group you can think of. It’s a common and heavily used colloquialism that I have observed in the corporate and academic world. 

And for those of you trying to put a political twist on it and play word games, put away your copy of Rules for Radicals. Maybe take your mask off like a normal human while your at it. Or are you as Aldous Huxley so aptly described: “the victim of mind manipulation that does not know he’s a victim”?

no, I just think elite private schools are bad for society. pretty simple actually. There are a lot of bad things in our society. that's one of them.

also, it has absolutely nothing to do with "diversity".

You make an awful lot of (bad) assumptions about what I think based on the very little I've written here.

Thank you @prisoners_dilemma for being a voice of sanity. Glad to see that not all Maplewood parents are looking to shoot down anyone who dares sends their kids to private school and trying to intentionally gaslight someone because they were asked to provide "color" on certain private schools. 

prisoners_dilemma said:

@njparent don’t take it personally, it’s just the way these progressives like to operate. My wife and I initially moved to Maplewood for the schools, but when that time came, we decided that private school was a better fit for our child. @drummerboy is certainly entitled to his opinion, but it’s just that, an opinion, which are like a**holes, everybody has one. I’m sure if he walked the campus at Pingry, or KPS, he would observe quite a diverse group of kids from varying backgrounds and races. 

As far as your “color” comment, I’ve been asked for “color” in both a work/educational context by Blacks, Asians, Hispanics, Whites, Lesbians, Jews, Hindus, Muslims, and any other group you can think of. It’s a common and heavily used colloquialism that I have observed in the corporate and academic world. 

And for those of you trying to put a political twist on it and play word games, put away your copy of Rules for Radicals. Maybe take your mask off like a normal human while your at it. Or are you as Aldous Huxley so aptly described: “the victim of mind manipulation that does not know he’s a victim”?

LOL man. I asked for advice on three private schools that are commutable from Maplewood and surrounding communities. Some idiot that had nothing to add but opined that private schools should be abolished and then tried to suggest a racial motive for the common use of the phrase "can you provide some color on X". Another poster told me about how "low class" I was to mention the private schools my daughter had gotten into (which I explained why I had mentioned). Yet somehow I am the name caller because *I* reacted? I literally started in a very civil tone till I was attacked. Sorry man, I got no time for idiots who would question the choices I make for my children or my social class.  

sprout said:

OK. 

So, you've learned you don't want to live here, which is valuable information. 

When reviewing the other private school threads you searched, you may want to examine the differences in the ones where the original poster called other posters "Jealous" or "Communist" or referred to other posters' "self-esteem", vs. those that were more informative and civil discussions. This may also provide valuable information.

LOL MsSuminda you literally called me "low class" (completely uncalled for insult without provocation) and yet somehow I am the one talking about class? I literally said I give two hoots what any poster might think of my social standing and class. If you know anything about these schools in question you would know they are highly diverse by race and economic status with about 20% of the student body being on financial aid. 

MsSumida said: