Lessons learned from Laura.
Apr 10, 2015 at 3:24am Edited
Say goodbye as if it is the last time you'll be able to do so. I saw Laura the week before ,when she came by to borrow some subway tiles for the bat mitzvah she was catering that week. A five minute errand turned into a 45 minute talk and when we said goodbye, we gave each other a little hug. How I wish I had hugged her tightly and thoroughly. Had I but known it would be for the last time.
Hug the ones you love often and tightly. You never know..
Hug the ones you love often and tightly. You never know..
Be interested and Be interesting
My son and I frequented BPS on a regular basis over the last year before they shifted to catering only. We were often the first early diners and only customers so it gave us time to chat with Laura and Dan
They were wonderful to observe as a couple- both had the skill of engaging you in a conversation where they shared a little about themselves- asked questions and learned a little from us - an elegant conversational "dance"
Laura genuine - non judgmental approach made me feel like i was talking with a trusted compatriot and the many "manifestations of Laura" was fascinating
My son and I frequented BPS on a regular basis over the last year before they shifted to catering only. We were often the first early diners and only customers so it gave us time to chat with Laura and Dan
They were wonderful to observe as a couple- both had the skill of engaging you in a conversation where they shared a little about themselves- asked questions and learned a little from us - an elegant conversational "dance"
Laura genuine - non judgmental approach made me feel like i was talking with a trusted compatriot and the many "manifestations of Laura" was fascinating
Make the most of what you have and then make leftovers for later just in case.
Laura was so full of love and joy but a part of her life was always on the edge. She certainly had struggles which she was always so open about. A part of me always wanted to try to take care of her.
Then I heard her loved ones describe her life and all day all I could think of was I want to live that kind of life. I want to be more like that. I wondered if I should get a water slide, maybe spend a little more time naked or learn to cook, or take long walks in a snowstorm. But I think the best lessons I can take from her are to throw caution to the wind and live life to the fullest, and most of all , it's all about the love you spread around.
Then I heard her loved ones describe her life and all day all I could think of was I want to live that kind of life. I want to be more like that. I wondered if I should get a water slide, maybe spend a little more time naked or learn to cook, or take long walks in a snowstorm. But I think the best lessons I can take from her are to throw caution to the wind and live life to the fullest, and most of all , it's all about the love you spread around.
joan_crystal said:
Make the most of what you have and then make leftovers for later just in case.
Really nice
I've learned so many things.
First of all, STOP WEARING SO MUCH BLACK. Get some color in your wardrobe.
Smile more.
Find your inner light and never let it darken.
First of all, STOP WEARING SO MUCH BLACK. Get some color in your wardrobe.
Smile more.
Find your inner light and never let it darken.
Apr 10, 2015 at 6:28am Edited
I only met Laura twice in person but emailed and PM'd with her occasionally over the years on various things - catering, yardwork, the free to good home thread, etc.
The first time I met her was way back in 2008. Laura had posted that she had some books to give away - this predated the Freecycle thread. I was an at-home parent, with a 3 and 5 year old, stressed out, and I figured what the hell, I could use some easy reads. I emailed her and she said she would drop them off on my porch.
Well, one night shortly thereafter, the doorbell rang, at the witching hour - I was grumpy trying to get the kids to eat, and I opened the door to find this vivacious redhead standing there with the most infectious smile and a bag of books. There was a car running at the curb - so someone was waiting for her to drop off the books and go. But she stood on my stoop, and talked about each book, what she liked about each one, which ones she liked better than the others, etc. I kept thinking, isn't that person going to get annoyed that she's standing here chatting, but she just kept going. She was so enthusiastic and talked to me like she had known me forever. Honestly I thought she would have walked in and sat down and had a book club with me right then, forget the car waiting outside.
I had to get back to the routine, but I remember that my mood was lifted, and I just kept thinking, so THAT'S JustmeLaura. What a force. Like I said, I only met her in person again years later (she was blonde then) and I don't know if she remembered ever coming to my house before, but I think what I took from that woman on my doorstep that first night, other than those books, was to live in the moment (she never once looked back at that car as she talked over the books she was giving me), never underestimate how a honest smile and respect will affect another person, and don't be afraid to share yourself with other people - we're all just getting through this together, after all.
I wasn't able to attend her services this week but I wish her family and friends peace, and joy in their memories of her.
The first time I met her was way back in 2008. Laura had posted that she had some books to give away - this predated the Freecycle thread. I was an at-home parent, with a 3 and 5 year old, stressed out, and I figured what the hell, I could use some easy reads. I emailed her and she said she would drop them off on my porch.
Well, one night shortly thereafter, the doorbell rang, at the witching hour - I was grumpy trying to get the kids to eat, and I opened the door to find this vivacious redhead standing there with the most infectious smile and a bag of books. There was a car running at the curb - so someone was waiting for her to drop off the books and go. But she stood on my stoop, and talked about each book, what she liked about each one, which ones she liked better than the others, etc. I kept thinking, isn't that person going to get annoyed that she's standing here chatting, but she just kept going. She was so enthusiastic and talked to me like she had known me forever. Honestly I thought she would have walked in and sat down and had a book club with me right then, forget the car waiting outside.
I had to get back to the routine, but I remember that my mood was lifted, and I just kept thinking, so THAT'S JustmeLaura. What a force. Like I said, I only met her in person again years later (she was blonde then) and I don't know if she remembered ever coming to my house before, but I think what I took from that woman on my doorstep that first night, other than those books, was to live in the moment (she never once looked back at that car as she talked over the books she was giving me), never underestimate how a honest smile and respect will affect another person, and don't be afraid to share yourself with other people - we're all just getting through this together, after all.
I wasn't able to attend her services this week but I wish her family and friends peace, and joy in their memories of her.
She never met a stranger and could talk to anyone so effortlessly. I really envy that, as an introvert, as much as I like people, conversation is hard and I often avoid situations with people I don't know well. I'd like to be more like she was and just jump in boobs first.
Me too!soorlady said:
She never met a stranger and could talk to anyone so effortlessly. I really envy that, as an introvert, as much as I like people, conversation is hard and I often avoid situations with people I don't know well. I'd like to be more like she was and just jump in boobs first.
Laura's memory is a true blessing to us all.
Be who you are, but better...
-s.
Be who you are, but better...
-s.
Yesterday afternoon, our time, as we waited in heavy traffic for the tow-truck (our car suddenly died, just after I'd arranged to take it to the mechanic in the morning...), I reflected to D that Laura's talent was bringing out our hidden super-powers and calling forth our inner super-heroes.
It was obvious in the memorial service. It was so obvious when PhilC drew that glorious cartoon of all our avatars fighting an epic battle against the gods of MOL (Dave and the Editorial Board). And right from my earliest contacts, even in what became Greenemom's thread where JML was always sending PVs and hugs and offering practical support, there was belief in each of us to be the best we can be.
Laura often told me she was broken and didn't deserve what had. She wrote of the pain of just breathing, to have to take another breath. There were times I was so worried I was trying not to scare her family, a world away. But we're closer than 'community', we really are our own MOL-family after all this time. I wish Laura had realised her own true worth, and her own superpower.
It was obvious in the memorial service. It was so obvious when PhilC drew that glorious cartoon of all our avatars fighting an epic battle against the gods of MOL (Dave and the Editorial Board). And right from my earliest contacts, even in what became Greenemom's thread where JML was always sending PVs and hugs and offering practical support, there was belief in each of us to be the best we can be.
Laura often told me she was broken and didn't deserve what had. She wrote of the pain of just breathing, to have to take another breath. There were times I was so worried I was trying not to scare her family, a world away. But we're closer than 'community', we really are our own MOL-family after all this time. I wish Laura had realised her own true worth, and her own superpower.
Apr 10, 2015 at 9:01am Edited
She taught me about gracious forgiveness, and how to move on with your head up, a smile, a joke, and a cocktail.
Boy did I love her.
Boy did I love her.
She also recently reminded me about how vitally important it is to keep a sense of humor - something that can be easily forgotten when the chips are down.
Of all the things we collect in our lives: a house, a business, a car, a savings account, a boat, clothes, garage sale and thrift shop finds, the only two that really matter in the end are great memories and great friends.
She taught me this without ever having to utter the words of explanation. And I hope I never forget it.
She taught me this without ever having to utter the words of explanation. And I hope I never forget it.
jersey_boy said:
Of all the things we collect in our lives: a house, a business, a car, a savings account, a boat, clothes, garage sale and thrift shop finds, the only two that really matter in the end are great memories and great friends.
She taught me this without ever having to utter the words of explanation. And I hope I never forget it.
+1
kriss said:
I only met Laura twice in person but emailed and PM'd with her occasionally over the years on various things - catering, yardwork, the free to good home thread, etc.
The first time I met her was way back in 2008. Laura had posted that she had some books to give away - this predated the Freecycle thread. I was an at-home parent, with a 3 and 5 year old, stressed out, and I figured what the hell, I could use some easy reads. I emailed her and she said she would drop them off on my porch.
Well, one night shortly thereafter, the doorbell rang, at the witching hour - I was grumpy trying to get the kids to eat, and I opened the door to find this vivacious redhead standing there with the most infectious smile and a bag of books. There was a car running at the curb - so someone was waiting for her to drop off the books and go. But she stood on my stoop, and talked about each book, what she liked about each one, which ones she liked better than the others, etc. I kept thinking, isn't that person going to get annoyed that she's standing here chatting, but she just kept going. She was so enthusiastic and talked to me like she had known me forever. Honestly I thought she would have walked in and sat down and had a book club with me right then, forget the car waiting outside.
I had to get back to the routine, but I remember that my mood was lifted, and I just kept thinking, so THAT'S JustmeLaura. What a force. Like I said, I only met her in person again years later (she was blonde then) and I don't know if she remembered ever coming to my house before, but I think what I took from that woman on my doorstep that first night, other than those books, was to live in the moment (she never once looked back at that car as she talked over the books she was giving me), never underestimate how a honest smile and respect will affect another person, and don't be afraid to share yourself with other people - we're all just getting through this together, after all.
I wasn't able to attend her services this week but I wish her family and friends peace, and joy in their memories of her.
This is a great story!
Yes!
jersey_boy said:
Of all the things we collect in our lives: a house, a business, a car, a savings account, a boat, clothes, garage sale and thrift shop finds, the only two that really matter in the end are great memories and great friends.
She taught me this without ever having to utter the words of explanation. And I hope I never forget it.
I just got a chuckle of the thought that this thread would have astonished her absolutely... but then she would have laughed and jumped in, "boobs first." LOL.
What I have learned from losing Laura is to never take for granted that you will have more time. If you think of something good to do, DO IT. If you think of something nice to say, SAY IT. If you find yourself thinking, "Gee, I like that person and would like to get to know then better," FIND A WAY.
Life is too short to waste so much of it holding back and procrastinating. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.
I keep thinking of one of the comments here (Boomie?) about life being too short to wear all that black... I find myself going up to complete strangers now and saying 'I really love that dress you're wearing, you're really looking lovely today!'.
Or it's the way they've twisted their hair, or a clever way with colour... And what I hear back is often sad, in that people don't notice each other any more. We seem to expect that everyone who approaches us wants something. It's nice to see the 30secs of trust and pleasure an unexpected compliment can give.
Apr 18, 2015 at 12:18pm Edited
Love everyone.
Even if you're not always successful, at least start there...
(I could never do this the way Laura did, but it's what I found so inspiring about her.)
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Perhaps you've thought about living more in the moment, or as Dan said yesterday, being more of an "actor" and doer as opposed to a planner. (I'm ripping up some to do lists right now.)
Please share your thoughts.