Senior Abuse?

I worked with Jean for about 23 years and she retired. We talk about every couple of weeks and visit once or twice a year.


So I called her today and she is down with a bad summer cold/allergy. Plus she is upset about the upcoming court case with her son.

Me: What court case?


She has two adapted sons and lives with Tom. He seems to take good care of her... drives her to the store, town's senior recreation, church and so forth.


Anyway, the court case is because older son has frozen her money. Credit cards are frozen, S.S. check goes somewhere other than her account, bank account is frozen along with trust fund. She is literally penniless, except for which Tom gives her.

All this was done without competency or any other type of hearing. She has no idea how the son was able to accomplish this.

Court case is for Aug. 24.

 

How could this have happened?  She wants to cut son out of her will. It looks like this may have been done with input and legal assistance from the family lawyer. Under what circumstances would that lawyer be subject to Bar Association discipline?





Does Jean have a lawyer?


Seems the first step is to reverse all of this. Her will and what happens to the lawyer (if he intentionally committed fraud or theft) are for another time.


this seems like perhaps signed a power of attorney, probably trusting that the son would not execute it unless she fell ill.  I believe she can rescind power of attorney at any time, provided she is of sound mind.


Soc Security does not recognize POA's. For someone else to divert Soc Sec funds a person needs to be appointed representative payee. If she's cognizant, she should contact Soc Sec.

But it is possible that son opened a DDA account in her name and then had Soc Sec divert the payments to the new account using her id on the Soc Sec web site or having someone phone claiming to be her. 

Only the beneficiary or a representative payee is allowed to change a beneficiaries bank.

https://www.ssa.gov/payee/


I’ve liked both the last two comments above mine, because I can see the processes in play, and it’s good to hear the US Soc Security ID procedure. Thank you BG9.

It’s always worrisome when we need someone else to pay our bills etc, but when that trust is abused, it’s shocking.


Why hasn't the younger son helped to resolve? A start, besides Soc Sec, would be to contact Adult Protective Services.

https://www.state.nj.us/humanservices/doas/services/aps/


(I’m guessing APS is like our Adult Guardian, Govt Trustee. Some people are reluctant to have a guardianship hearing because they believe they’ll lose all say and control over their daily lives. To a certain extent that’s a justified concern - the relationship between the brothers would be monitored and the financial aspect carefully scrutinised, but it’s all done afterwards so the money is still spent. Necessary big spends might not be approved, either, or approval might be slow.)


She is of sound mind. Son is helping her and she does have a lawyer. That is why there is a court case.


Adult protective services is an interesting approach.


Now that I recall, there was an episode a couple of years ago, when the hairball son forged her name on a document.


It's very difficult to become a Representative Payee for someone on SS.  Sounds like son scammed her.


sounds like there is not just elder abuse/manipulation but likely federal criminal activity. I’d get the police involved as well so it’s documented he’s interfering with her life in a criminal way.


It is very difficult to get the bar to take action.  My real estate lawyer tried to steal 1000 from me, they got him to give it back and claim he just forget to refund it even though I asked for it numerous time.  More recently, I tried hiring a lawyer for another issue, I quickly realized he was incompetent and terminated his services.  He admitted he owed me about $700 refund from my retainer, but wouldn't send it....it took YEARS to get it back.


and don't get me started on adult protective services.  I know of 2 issues in Union County...both times APS just told the caller to call someone else, there was nothing they could do..never came out and did any type of assessment.  Both involved disabled adults unable  to meet their own needs due to their disabilities..including fighting with programs that are supposed to help to provide the services.  Might have better luck in another county.


APS is the adult version of DYFS...they are supposed to investigate maltreatment of older/disabled adults and assist in referring to support services as needed...they are not 'guardians' although they could recommend the person get a guardian.


Yeah, lawyers are almost untouchable. I had a lawyer try to steal money from me too when I was 25 and selling my first condo. There was a paper trail showing he requested funds directly to him even though my signed documents said funds should be cut differently and statements by the other attorney as well as the bank who cut the check. I had to go to the bar association and file my claim, go to a hearing and after finding him guilty essentially of theft and document fraud, I was told he essentially got a “blip” on his record that stayed for 12 months and that was it.


Honestly, I’d try the criminal route saying documents have been forged and federal SS funds stolen.


Just looking at this from another angle.  Not suggesting this is the case.  There are two possible justifications I can see for the actions taken by the older son.  One is that Jean was the victim of a recent scam by someone other than her son which resulted in her losing a significant sum of money.  The other is that she is beginning to show early signs of dementia.  In either case, her son may be taking these steps to protect her and her assets.  If either is the case, Jean might be reluctant to mention the full back story to you.  Is it possible to speak with the son or a third party familiar with the circumstances surrounding the son's actions?  If not, you are only getting half of the story. 


even if it were either case, doing it behind her back without her knowledge is unacceptable.


joan_crystal said:
Just looking at this from another angle.  Not suggesting this is the case.  There are two possible justifications I can see for the actions taken by the older son.  One is that Jean was the victim of a recent scam by someone other than her son which resulted in her losing a significant sum of money.  The other is that she is beginning to show early signs of dementia.  In either case, her son may be taking these steps to protect her and her assets.  If either is the case, Jean might be reluctant to mention the full back story to you.  Is it possible to speak with the son or a third party familiar with the circumstances surrounding the son's actions?  If not, you are only getting half of the story. 

 There are actually two sons.  Tom, the one she lives with who is helping her out financially during all this.  The other one is Scumbag, the one who lives elsewhere who is having her SS checks diverted and who has frozen all of her accounts, and who is not contributing a dime towards her expenses even though he has somehow managed to take control of her finances.  Even if this were done for an unknown legitimate reason, wouldn't Scumbag still be expected to at least pay Jean's bills and other expenses since he has control of all of her money?  This is not what is happening, Tom, who does not have access to his mother's money, is helping her out of his own pocket. 




Something similar happened in my husband's family.  Two daughters, but only one was given POA.  Scumbag Daughter's husband had a business that had been struggling for decades.  Business wasn't going under, but it wasn't super successful, always just surviving.  After they got control of the finances suddenly they were flush with money.  Over the top vacations, new car, spending over $30k for their son's bar mitzvah, large contribution to the kid's college funds (the college funds were the ONLY time Scumbag daughter admitted to actually using the mother's money, claiming "she would have wanted them to have money for college" even though the other daughter's children had not received a dime of college money when the mother had control of her own money.  The mother loved all of her grandchildren, but also knew that she needed her money to support herself in retirement, and whatever was left over after she passed was to be split between the two daughters).  Older daughter then finds out from the assisted living facility that Scumbag daughter isn't even providing basic toiletries for the mother, so older daughter buys them out of her own pocket.  Scumbag daughter has excuses for why they aren't being provided, doesn't reimburse Older daughter.  Then Older daughter receives a phone call from the assisted living facility, the bills haven't been paid, and Scumbag daughter has not been answering phone calls or responding to certified mail, mother is about to be legally evicted for non-payment.  Older daughter isn't the legal contact, they were just calling her at this point because they were desperate and eviction was now less than two weeks away with no acknowledgement from Scumbag daughter.  Older daughter was able to force Scumbag daughter to at least pay that bill to keep their mother from being evicted, but still the spending went on.  Older daughter took Scumbag daughter to court to try to get control of the finances, or at least to get an accounting of the mother's finances, judge basically says "You two are sisters, talk to each other and work it out."  Older daughter tried going to court one more time, Scumbag daughter's response to the court was "All the financial records were in the basement and we had a flood, so we had to throw them out."  The judge actually accepted that.  Thankfully Scumbag daughter at least started paying the facility fees for assisted living after that, but how much of the funds were used on her and her family is anyone's guess.  

And it wasn't just the cash.  When the mother first got ill (it was a sudden illness that lead to sudden severe onset of dementia) the Scumbag daughter got to the house first while everyone else was at the hospital.  When it became apparent that the mother was not going to be able to return to her apartment to live independently we got there to see what needed to be packed for the facility and what needed to be gotten rid of, the place looked like it had been ransacked.  Looking around, we discover that EVERYTHING of value (real and sentimental) had been taken.  Silver, china, family photos, everything.  Prior to the illness and onset of dementia, my husband and I would visit her about once a month or so.  She used to show us all these things, she made it clear she wanted them passed down equally.  She had photo albums, prayer cards from relatives who had passed, etc.  Scumbag daughter got EVERYTHING.  The only thing of value she didn't get was the now empty china cabinet because she didn't have room for it.  It was offered to my husband and me "for now" with the understanding that once their own daughter was old enough we would have to give it back.  My husband was torn, but I was having no part of that and said no thanks, let the trash haulers take it then (I knew they couldn't take it themselves at that moment).  They finally relented and allowed us to have it.  Oh, and we got one Ikea bookcase.  That china cabinet and the Ikea bookcase were literally the only items my husband was able to get of his grandmother's.  Everything else of value (real or sentimental) Scumbag daughter had taken while we were all busy at the hospital with the mother.

Some people are just beyond redemption. 



In the OP, the older son was not identified as the son other than Tom.   Thus my post.  Given the further clarification, I would agree that there is a strong likelihood that the older son could well be stealing from Jean.  Unfortunately, given the case history Spontaneous cites regarding a somewhat comparable incident in his/her own family, there is a possibility that this may not be resolvable to Jean's liking in court.  I agree with the above posters who write that Jean, or someone she trusts acting on her behalf needs to work to undo what the older son has done ASAP.  Can Jean contact Social Security, bank, credit cards, etc. claiming a case of identity theft in which financial transactions have been made in her name without her knowledge or agreement?


. comment withdrawn as duplicate information.


Formerlyjerseyjack said:
She is of sound mind. Son is helping her and she does have a lawyer. That is why there is a court case.


Adult protective services is an interesting approach.

Why is a court case with a lawyer needed? What will a court order to she can't do herself? Unless she is under a guardianship.

If she is of sound mind, she should be able to go to the financial institutions and let them know the POA is no longer valid and directing them give to her sole access to her accounts.

She can also open a new DDA, close the old accounts transferring funds to that DDA. There is also a the need to go to the Soc Sec office to resolve her distribution gets put and to initiate removal of representative payee if present. If the representative payee was created or her money was moved without to a different account fraudulently then a criminal complaint needs to be initiated.

Credit cards are a different story. How were those accounts frozen? If a credit card was used fraudulently they issue new card numbers or close the account. Its possible, like with Discover, to freeze a lost card. But then its just a matter of getting a replacement card. She could open new accounts. Its possible a security freeze may have been put on her credit reports.



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