Suicide Isn't Painless...Updated

This morning Adrian, the husband of my youngest, most precious sister took his life.
He hung himself in a gruesome manner in their garage.
She found him a few hours later.
He had no suicidal tendencies.
He left four wonderful children.
Adrian was a good man with many of the usual pressures of life.
We know that he really didn't want to end his life this way, it was a cry for help.
His wife and children love him so much and he loved them to the moon and back.
How do we make any sense of this?

There are no words that can convey the abyss of pain that my sister had to go through today.
Her children knew that their father died suddenly.
They didn't know why.
When she was finally able to take them aside alone (with a wonderful, compassionate minister of their faith) she told them that their father took his life, committed suicide, hung himself...
Adrian was an extremely loving husband and father.
Unfortunately, the last night of his life with his children
He was drinking and verbally abusive.
His children feel like it is their fault.
When they heard that he committed suicide they screamed, cried
And said, "I did this to Daddy, It's my fault"

Again, fortunately a wonderful support group that was there.
But they are going to feel this for the rest of their lives.....

Oh no, that's awful. I'm so sorry.

kthnry said:

Oh no, that's awful. I'm so sorry.

I am finding it hard to breathe

So sad to read this.
So sad for those left behind, with so many questions left unanswered, and anger left unresolved.
As communities, we need better resources for individuals and families facing such despair and pain.

May there be some measure of peace and healing soon.

What can one say ..find each other and be there is so sad for all of you
Hug and hold on...sometimes there is nothing else ..for a while ...lightness will come again .

I'm so sorry.

Is it okay with them to put this out there and discuss publicly?

The National Suicide Prevention Line..............professional and confidential


We all have friends we have not yet met. Reach out........there is someone who cares.

OMG, Laura, I saw your sister's post, I had no idea what happened. How devastating and heartbreaking for all. I'm so sorry.

Laura, I am so sorry for your family's loss.

I am so very sorry. I have witnessed in my own family how silence in the aftermath of a suicide can leave emotional wounds that last a lifetime. I hope that your entire family can find a way to talk about their feelings with a professional and with each other. Again I am so very sorry for the pain your family is going through.

Laura...I am very sorry...please take care.

Oh honey, I"m so sorry. Biggest hugs for you. And hope and healing for your whole family.
And please feel free to call on me if you need anything.

Laura, my deepest sympathies to you all. Please take care of yourself while you hold your sister and her children.

So sorry for you and your family.

I am so very sorry, Laura. I have been through this. The loss is compounded by the guilt and pain of not having been able to save your loved one. It took a long time, but I finally came to realize that there was nothing I could have done. THERE IS NOTHING ANYONE COULD HAVE DONE.

I think there are some people for whom every day is a struggle against despair and even though they know they are loved and they love deeply, the pain of living is more than they can bear.

You and your family are in my prayers.

Omg Laura I am so sorry! Prayers for your whole family

So sorry to hear this, Laura; it's such a difficult thing to come to grips with. Wishing all of you peace and healing.

I am sorry for your loss and pain.

Laura: You don't make sense of it. You can't. You worry it like you would a loose tooth but in the end you, your sister, their children, and all those others who loved him will find a way to keep him alive in your memories of the good times you all had together. My deepest condolences to you and your family. You know how to reach me if you need someone to listen.

Oh Laura, I am so sad for you. This must be so heart wrenching for you and the family. My condolences to all who are touched by this tragedy.

How devastating suicide is. I'm so sorry it has touched you and your family. I know that feeling of not being able to breath because the pain is too much. I promise that in time (I don't know how much time) it will begin to recede. Likely it will always be with you - that is the legacy of suicide. But it will become bearable. I'm glad you felt able to put it out into the world this way because it means you are allowing your community to support and hold you through the very hard days to come. You all will be in my thoughts.

I am so sorry for your and your family's awful loss. We have gone through this on both sides of the family. I think sarahzm captured perfectly the anguish that follows - and in my experience, she is right, there is nothing anyone could have done to prevent this. My heart goes out to you and yours.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for your loss. How tragic for your sister and her family. I wish there were some comforting words to say right now, but I can't think of any.

So sorry Laura :`( AFSP has some good resources for helping cope with losing a loved one to suicide... I've done volunteer work for the org and can tell you their counselors are very good and free of charge...

Deepest sympathy and condolences, hang in there !

Oh Laura, that is awful. I am so sorry. Hang in...

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