The Trials of Tigger: Tigger's Trials Are Over

I am extending this question to the cat fans of MOL.

With the impending move of my mother to assisted living, her elderly, rather frail cat needs a new home. I have been elected.

As many know, I have three relatively young, healthy, energetic and rambunctious felines already. The new addition, Tigger, is probably about 14 years old and lived for a long time as an indoor/outdoor cat. Fortunately, she has given that up. But she has had some health problems and is very thin and pretty crotchety.

How would you recommend integrating her? I have already decided that her first stop will be at the vet, for a thorough check-up, inoculations, and tests for some feline diseases. Once she has a clean bill of health or has been treated for any issues she might have, I can introduce her to my "pride."

But being that she's elderly, frail and grouchy, how do I do this successfully with my houseful of healthy youngsters? Maybe she needs her own room for awhile. Quite awhile.

Suggestions, please?

A room of her own sounds good, at least at first. She may surprise you and welcome the added feline company.

At any rate, good luck!

Can you take something that smells like your mom and make her a bed? I'm going through something similar but totally different. Puppy w 16yo kitty. I think definitely important she has "her" space

I agree about "her" space. I think that was a good thought we all had. ;-)

I will bring something that carries Mom's smell, although fortunately Tigger has always been very fond of me, too, which will help. But you are right... something that reminds her of "home" is a good idea. Thanks.

Scully, I'll be VERY interested to see how she responds to other cats, and how mine react to her. :-ss

Oh my. I think of my cousin as the true cat whisperer. We presently in our home have only 4 cats of various ages. Truly, they each navigate to their own spaces. My thinking is along my cousin's thinking, of giving them the freedom to discover their own space. It will be interesting to you as well as this new to your environment darling cat, what she chooses. I think once you know her choice, you will be perfectly acclimated to give her her wishes. Enjoy PeggyC. It is an adventure. :X

I think my biggest concerns are if my current cats don't accept her, if one of them starts inappropriate elimination habits, or if one of them gets too rough and hurts the old lady who is coming in. I'm thinking keeping them separated for awhile, investing in some Feliway, and keeping them very well supervised when they do meet. In addition, need new litter box!

I can only say my darling cousin is a a caretaker of strays, and orphaned cats, and her wisdom of any situation regarding cats is beyond measure in my books. She has introduced many to her clan. And it never seems to be a problem. (Okay. A minute spat here and there.) Yet, I honestly respect my cousin's compassion for her cats. We are currently living with a diarrhea spritzer. Fauna is the most ladylike and darling member of the family. Yet she will just spray at any given moment. On bedsheets, furniture, rugs. The vet has no answers for her problem. Do we love her any less? NOOOooooo. We continually have paper towels, wipe ups, when ever we "hear" or discover her mishaps. The funny thing is when we asked how was our Christmas, we respond, "*****ty." With the biggest smile on our faces. Literally. :X

PeggyC said:

I think my biggest concerns are if my current cats don't accept her, if one of them starts inappropriate elimination habits, or if one of them gets too rough and hurts the old lady who is coming in. I'm thinking keeping them separated for awhile, investing in some Feliway, and keeping them very well supervised when they do meet. In addition, need new litter box!

Umm...cousin Gail seemed to allow it to happen naturally. It was her home and she was the boss. I don't remember when she brought a new cat into her family, any special treatment. Gail is an indoor outdoor kinda gal. She is not into control at all. She is a pleaser in the sense of sensing an animal and discovering the desires. She is a giver. Gail has welcomed many a cat rescue into her home, and discovered strays living in her basement window and giving birth. Gail has never turned a stray away. And the thing is, with her guidance and clapping of her hands, and her whistling, and gracious food and water both inside and out of her property, Oh, and litter boxes are on the three floors of her home, these cats are loved.

PeggyC, I hold you to these standards as well. Love, be merry, and enjoy! From cousin Gail, I know this to be so possible!!! :X

Its shown that elderly are greatly helped by having pets.

Is it too late to change her assisted living facility? Sunrise assisted living allows the keeping of pets by their residents.

http://www.sunriseseniorliving.com/

It is too late, if we don't want to start WWIII beginning with our family. Plus, a lease has been signed and money put down.

BG9 said:

Its shown that elderly are greatly helped by having pets.

Is it too late to change her assisted living facility? Sunrise assisted living allows the keeping of pets by their residents.

http://www.sunriseseniorliving.com/

Oh that would be fab

Peggy, perhaps go back to the pages in Greenemom where greenetree brought her mum's cat (Ashby?) back to her place, for some more hints. I seem to remember:
*own litter tray
*separate feeding station/time
*safe place for time out, and making sure that there are sunny views of the garden (that last bit is my tip).

Wasn't there also something about dedicated playtime with shiny balls of foil?

I'd include as many things from 'home' as possible: toys, bedding, food bowls, even grooming brush if there is one. Just a bit more comforting. And yeah, an old jumper (sweater) or two of your mother's. Can you get a recording of your mother's voice? We did that for Min when D used to go away for weeks at a time - our Asian exchange students at the time thought we were so silly!! But it stopped her fretting, and helped her accept cuddles from strangers more readily.

I think you'll be OK: 14 is a good age, and a cat that old is a survivor. They know what is what.

Joanne, funny you should say that about Mom's voice. Tigger might like me at least in part because my voice is almost exactly like my mother's. When I answer the phone here, sometimes her friends will launch right into a story before I can tell them it's not my mother they are talking to!

I will do a search on "Ashby" and see if I can find any more info, but I think I have a good approach now based on my own ideas and the excellent advice above. And fortunately I am home most days (when I'm not at my mother's making sure she is safe and getting moved into assisted living!) so I can spend time with Tigger getting her settled, and time with my original three fur babies to make sure they don't feel left out or invaded. My three might be feeling rather neglected at this point, since I haven't been around all day with them recently!

Seems to me it might be good to keep Tigger in our second bedroom for awhile. There are two windows and lots of sun, a comfy bed and window bench, and the door actually latches (that's a rarity in our old house). She can play patty-paws under the door with the others if they all feel so inclined while they get used to each others' smells and so on. I can set her up quite regally in there for a bit.

Gawd, Mr. Penguin is going to have 10 hissy fits when I tell him we have another cat. But it's the only solution!

BG9 and Fluger, I do wish that was an option, but my brother made the choice of facility and would actually explode if I tried to undo his work at this point. It would have been nice if Tigger could go to his house, but they have a dog, and Tigger just can't abide the huge, hairy, smelly, woofy thing.

I am still planning to move up to CT (with Mr. Penguin, of course!) so we can visit Mom very regularly, and I will most likely take Tigger some days, or maybe my own Mischa, who I think would be a fabulous therapy cat and not mind the transport and unusual surroundings. He is so laid back. And Mom would adore him because he's a love bug. Between having her own kids around a LOT more than we are now, and having some animal visitors, I'm hoping Mom won't have time to feel lonely while she is adjusting and finding her way and making some new friends up there.

Oh! I saw photos last night for the first time of my mother's actual apartment. It faces west and north, with gorgeous afternoon sun and views across a short strip of parking spaces to grass, trees, and then woods. Pretty. And the apartment itself is a good size, with a full kitchen with regular size fridge and oven, dishwasher, and oak cabinets. The living room/dining area seem to be a nice size, too, with loads of light and a neutral Berber carpet. (Low pile to allow for less tripping!) And the bedroom is also quite pleasant. Once her stuff is in, I believe it will look like her home, but with more light. And I firmly believe more light will help her depression.

There is the usual complement of public rooms, with a dining room, lounge, and library. I wonder if I could donate a lot of her own books to the library, if they won't fit into her apartment?? We plan to take two big bookcases, in addition to the modular shelving mentioned above, which will display knick-knacks. Mom also has tons of photos on the walls in her house, all of which were taken by my father, my brother and me. We are all avid amateur photographers, and some of the shots are lovely. So we can cover entire walls with her own art.

Yes, this place is going to look very, very familiar to her!

At my mother's condo in Florida, they are only allowed to have a pet (one pet only) if they get a note from a doctor. Evidently there is some legal support for the elderly having access to pets. But, it sounds like you will be getting this cat. Hopefully, the other cats will respect the wisdom of age and not as teenaged humans do.

I think you do probably have good instincts on how they'll all go. Sounded like you wanted reassurance ;-) You could always PM GT anyway, if you needed. (I PMd Cyn and got a sweet and informative reply re D)

While you can often take pets to live with you in these places, these days, it's not quite as easy as many people think. Often they need to be assessed by vets for both health and temperament before they can move in, sometimes they also need to be quarantined. Often you may also have to agree to special cleaning costs 'afterward' (when you move out) because the next people - and you don't know who they are - may be allergic.

In terms of therapy animals, check to see what is needed before you visit: each place has different rules although the concept is the same. Animals need to be annually checked and certified for specific health conditions and pest status, plus be assessed for temperament. Some need to have their 'shed rating' noted (how much they moult or shed hair/fur/dander) - again, so that other residents' allergies can be controlled. It's all a pain but also necessary caution. I know of one place that carefully scheduled many pet visits in the sensory garden, keeping most of the allergens in the one area. It was beautifully landscaped, so seemed quite a natural place to hang out anyway.

Cross-post! (and again)

Sounds like a lovely place!

We've put most of FIL's pics onto a digital screen, to reduce the wall space required. Some copies are now in small albums, but he doesn't really look at them. Treats the screen like a TV.

Erk. Tigger would never pass the physical. She hasn't seen a vet in donkey's years (what on earth does that expression mean, anyway?) and hasn't had her shots in gawd knows how long. She is old and cranky and skinny, and most likely would get under Mom's feet and trip her up! But I do certainly feel the wisdom of the benefit of having a pet. Wouldn't it be nice if the assisted living facility had a therapy animal or two of their own? Although they would have to be careful, what with allergies. I will ask them about "therapy pets" before I introduce any animals to the facility. Too bad Mischa is part Maine Coon... he's got a boatload of fur!

Oh, I love the idea of a sensory garden. I wonder if this facility has nice grounds and gardens? I hope so. That would be lovely.

We also have a digital picture frame, Joanne, but Mom likes to see her art on the walls. It's not all photos, either. Much of her art is water color paintings or pastels that she and Dad bought over the years at art shows locally and has great sentimental value. The photos to a large extent are from family trips, of travels she made with Dad. All very close to the heart. We WANT the walls covered with stuff she loves, and it looks like there's a good amount of wall space. I'm excited about that aspect.

Not suggesting you DON'T put the art on the walls, just suggesting what to do if you can't manage all of it, or if there are restrictions on how much. Re Tigger: perhaps if you can get Tigger to see the vet soon, then that will be sufficient for a personal visit (not in general population, but OK in a carrier until in her apartment)?? Something to work towards, anyway.

When I worked at Age Concern we had a group of people who brought their animals to various residential facilities in the region: hursing homes, hostels, youth homes etc. There were small farm animals (ducks, chooks, baby lambs, goats and calves in the right season, etc), bunnies, birds, dogs, cats; lizards... The whole thing was sponsored by a petfood company, who helped cover the vet costs. The animals had their own ID badges!! One lady was a cat breeder, and used to enter her cats in shows; won quite a few too. She was able to bring a few long-hairs, but had to carefully brush them first and was restricted with where they went once on the premises.

Another place around here has a gorgeous kitchen garden with culinary herbs at knee and waist height that the residents can help themselves to and can potter around in (weeding, clipping, collecting seeds etc). The main kitchen also uses the herbs and salad veg for fresh dishes every day.

"Another place around here has a gorgeous kitchen garden with culinary herbs at knee and waist height that the residents can help themselves to and can potter around in (weeding, clipping, collecting seeds etc). The main kitchen also uses the herbs and salad veg for fresh dishes every day. "

LOVE this! Although my mother wouldn't care at all about herbs. She has hated cooking all her life.

Yeah, but it's a great place to just wander around!! You can run your hands through the leaves and smell great; snip flowers and leaves and press them or use them for little still-life sketches; or sit and sip tea and read a book there, chatting to whoever else strolls past At this place, they leave a few small garden tools in the raised beds, too (a spade, a small fork) so you can turn some soil - it's a secret plot to encourage people to get some exercise via stetching and bending. They also have a couple of 'bus stops' set up along the garden paths, maked up as bus stops and with a sheltered bench; so peopel with dementia can still go visits or go to work - they're just sitting waiting for the bus, and then someone will suggest that perhaps it's time to have lunch or a cuppa because the bus is so late today...

Oh Peggy!! Does your mother like birdwatching? Maybe you should get her a CT guide to local birds and some binoculars?

nan said:

At my mother's condo in Florida, they are only allowed to have a pet (one pet only) if they get a note from a doctor. Evidently there is some legal support for the elderly having access to pets. But, it sounds like you will be getting this cat. Hopefully, the other cats will respect the wisdom of age and not as teenaged humans do.

Saw your quote and had to add this.............In Greece as much as is humanly possible the elderly stay with their families through out their lives. Of course some circumstances require special housing but the concept of nursing homes as we know them is almost unknown.

On the island of Aegina, my happy place, a few years ago an out of country concern built a large facility for elderly men. It sat and it sat and it sat, It turned out that the families of Aegina and Greece were not about to give up their Pa Poos.

The facility is still there but it has become a home for housing and rehabilitation of mistreated animals.........a concept that is just gaining
a foot hold there.

Is one of your current cats more laid-back than the others? If so, maybe you could introduce that one cat (on a limited basis) to your mother's cat and let them get used to each other? That way, if the older cat does interact with the group, there would be one animal which is familiar

I think everyone has to make the best decision for their own family and loved ones. I would like to have had my mother with us, but she has severe dementia, has no concept of day or night, needs to be watched 24/7 as she no longer understands stoves/doors/microwaves/lights (she tried to turn a light out by grabbing at the bulb, which was a 75 watt one which had been on for a while) - she requires assistance bathing, using the toilet and has various medical issues that require on-site medical care. No way this could have been done at home, and home aides were more expensive over time than the assisted living facility. The sad thing is that I realize that her condition will only deteriorate with time, and that she will never be any better than she is each time I see her - and each time is worse than the time before.

Cody, I know what you mean. My mother is in bad enough shape now that in-home care isn't an option any more. It's as if she fell of a cliff of sorts after Superstorm Sandy. I believe now that she had a bit of a breakdown and just stopped being able to deal with the requirements of daily living. I had hopes at one point that we could take her to our house or move in with her, but that is clearly no longer a viable concept.

I like the idea of introducing one cat from the group to Tigger... unfortunately, the friendliest and most laid back of our cats also likes to play a little rough with the "girls." So he might be too strong for her, and too eager to play. Playing for him often turns into a rough-house. The "girls" are more likely to be overtly hostile. Niki will probably attack her, while Anya would simply avoid her. But we'll see what happens. Tigger might simply find her comfy spot to be and stay there most of the time, which would be fine.

Joanne, that's brilliant. She does love bird watching, and used to like going to Cape May with my father during bird migration times. We have a good set of binoculars she can take with her, and we can get the book for CT birds.

That's all assuming I can get her out of bed today.

Donkeys years?? Never heard it!!
Little known fact- cats can get aluminum poisoning. So don't give her those balls if she really likes chewing on them.

Um, that didn't sound right...

Peggy, here's the clue to the derivation of 'in donkey's years': http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/donkeys-years.html

If your mother wants to stay in bed for a day, let her...esp if it's cold. Cheer her up a little by treating her to a 'sick day' menu, and reading to her, and maybe playing cards (snap, or go-fish) on the bed or doing some of that new wardrobe dreaming via magazines. She might be having a day of winter-blues or pre-flu lethargy. Sometimes, a day off is just what we all need! (Make sure that nothing physically hurts, no achy joints etc)

We need a Feliway for humans - perhaps the yummy smell of home-baking??