The Vestibular Monologues: Pottery and Pilates

Maybe the vet can come to meet Tigger, and just advise for now? Our visiting vet was a vet first and a "ministering Angel" when needed. 

(And congratulations on the lily of the valley, also my mum's favourite! A wonderful plant!)

I made 2 appointments for Simon, before I went through with it.  I think I should have gone through with the second one--- I think he suffered ,unnecessarily, for another week, because of my feint heart. The problem with cats is, they soldier on until they crash. If it is the end of her life, Peggy, screw up your courage and make and keep the appointment.  I maybe reading too much into this, but in a way, you may be regarding Tigger as a last vestige of your mother. Let her go to her.

To echo Calliope's wise advice, our vet also told us that cats do their best to hide their pain for as long as possible.  

And this may sound heartless, but on a practical note, if you think Tigger is near the end, do not wait until Memorial Day weekend when a vet may be difficult to find.  We were so fortunate that the vet was willing to come in on Sunday evening to end our cat's suffering.  

Sending you many hugs.

Elizabeth

I understand and agree, but the big question is how to know when the time has arrived. She has recovered well enough now that she can get into the kitchen for meals and water, and into the bathroom to use the litter box, on her own. She can jump into our laps again and will settle down and purr while we pet her. There were a couple of days when this was not true. I don't know what happened, but for now she is back to a stasis that seems to be rewarding for her. However, she is definitely less strong, and less steady. So I have to wonder how long it will be before she has gone so far down that road that she is suffering, and I wonder whether I will recognize that she is suffering.

I do connect her with my parents, but I'm able to separate her needs out from that. I just have to figure out how to identify those needs properly.

From the concerts last season. I'm at the front right, with white sleeves, a light brown skirt and blue overdress. And I am the soprano voice you can hear most clearly. God, I love this piece.

Hey! I saw it posting on the screen, then it vanished!   

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I enjoyed listening and watching some of your concert today, Peggy. Thanks for posting it on FB. I also pointed you out to my husband and explained how I knew you and that if you lived nearby we would be friends. Sigh. I am finding this re-rooting from Maplewood to Maine to be really, really difficult. We give up the South Orange apartment in a month, and then I will not be able to say I live in SOMA. I try to use you as an example, you and a few other people who moved at the same time I did, but I am a whiner.

I'm sorry the transition is still so difficult for you, LisaT. I also think we would have been friends if we lived in the same area!  And I'm really glad you enjoyed the music. I wish I could figure out how to embed it here successfully, but I can't get it to work. Let me try one more time... In case it doesn't work, anyone can find our videos on the Renaissance Revival page on Facebook.

If you love the Renaissance Revival music and costumes, why not me in studying the food history?

Www.futurelearn.com has a free Royal Feasting course starting on 20 June, for just a couple of weeks. You study at your own pace, for a few hours each week, and get to try recipes in your own kitchen too! soooooo many SCA re-enacters in this course, I feel the odd one out because I'm not!

I think you are developing a monomania about this learning series, Joanne.

I confessed it!     

Plus, I'd love to share notes with someone I actually know. It's a lot of fun, and there's some good info. I reckon the Feasting will be a hoot but there are 2 of us and on a restricted diet it's going to be hard.

Much to our amazement, Tigger has made a remarkable recovery and is back to the stasis of a few weeks ago. Both of us thought it was the end when we found her in the laundry upstairs last week. I think she is going to keep us guessing right up to the end. But we are both mightily relieved to see her alert and getting around. She has gone back to demanding her meals in no uncertain terms, too. Go figure.

Yay!! So glad she is doing better!

Yep. Feisty old ladies.   

Thank goodness!  I was thinking of you this weekend and hoped that Tigger was holding her own.  

Feisty old ladies is right. She's a scrappy five pounds of feminine feline. And she has managed to weasel her way into both our hearts, so I'm glad she's such a fighter.

Having been through this so recently, I am cautiously optimistic for you and Tigger.  

The problem I had with Simon was that he rallied, gave me false hope, and then crashed--rather badly (which is the source of my guilt about him) As shocking as Sarabeth's death was to me, it was easy to see what needed to be done when she collapsed. Simon sort of ebbed and flowed.

At Tigger's age, I don't have high expectations, and we stand poised for that trip to the vet as soon as we feel her life is more burden than pleasure. But it is nice to have a reprieve. My brother and his two kids came for dinner today, and they all made a fuss over her.   

More family drama. Great.

My brother forwarded me a message his ex sent him when he asked if he could come back to the old house to get the rest of his stuff. Basically, she is claiming there is a clause in the settlement agreement that states that if he did not get everything out by March 31, the stuff all became hers. She is holding it for ransom (a baby grand piano that cost $10k, some extremely high-end audio equipment from his most recent job, and a lot of stuff from my parents' house, including family photos and other irreplaceable items). She wants him to give her $20,000, of which $5,000 would be refunded under conditions I have forgotten.

I'm pretty upset. She is threatening to throw the stuff out if he won't pay to redeem it, and I don't feel I can do a damn thing about it. His lawyer hasn't gotten back to him, and the ex isn't budging.

So I have questions/need advice.

First: Is there such a clause in standard divorce settlement agreements?? Or would that be something she customized, knowing my brother is the world's worst procrastinator?

Second, and by far the more important: Can I do anything to rescue the stuff that has great sentimental value? He had some things that it would break my heart to see go into a dumpster. I have considered reaching out to her solely about these items, but I'm afraid it would make matters worse and make him furious (anger is his default setting).

I hate this kind of crap. And just when we are finally clear of all the house sales and the refinancing of our current house. 

I would make a direct appeal to her for the family heirlooms and not mention any of the other items at all. It might make him mad, but he'll get over it and I don't think it will influence their fight because of all the other stuff. 

I have had so many thoughts in both directions. My husband suggested reaching out to her, too, but I'm hesitating...

If I'm understanding correctly and the heirlooms belong to your brother, then you have no right to ask for them or receive them.   I don't know why she would give them to you.

If you think she might give them to you (rather than him), then you need his permission to ask for them, IMHO.

Well, never mind. My brother's ex finally got back to him and they have reached an agreement to let him remove his things in July. I really wish now that he had not sent me her email to him. That was a window into their marriage and his behavior that I wish I hadn't seen and anxiety I could have done without. 

Oh, well. At least my family's treasures are safe for now. I recommended the movers that handled our move last year, which was our best experience ever. And they do handle pianos, so that's good. 

mjh said:

If I'm understanding correctly and the heirlooms belong to your brother, then you have no right to ask for them or receive them.   I don't know why she would give them to you.

If you think she might give them to you (rather than him), then you need his permission to ask for them, IMHO.

For what it's worth, the stuff from my parents' house and Mom's apartment was divvied up piecemeal and in some cases on the fly, with no real idea of whose they were. Some thing have clearly landed in one house or the other, but much of it just ended up in my car or my brother's, depending only on who happened to be there doing work on any given day. Very few clear delineations. 

it's awful when that happens (the whole episode) and others get dragged into the vortex. So much gets lost - dignity, trust, memories as well as the keepsakes and treasures. It's good somehow there's a breathing space. 

{ hug }

I'm so relieved not to have to give it any more serious thought. But I have to say I'm horrified at what I learned very unwillingly from SIL's email... About my brother. It makes me very sad to realize he was NOT what I would call a good husband or responsible man. Although I'm kind of glad our mother wasn't here to witness this scene. *sigh*

PeggyC said:

I'm so relieved not to have to give it any more serious thought. But I have to say I'm horrified at what I learned very unwillingly from SIL's email... About my brother. It makes me very sad to realize he was NOT what I would call a good husband or responsible man. Although I'm kind of glad our mother wasn't here to witness this scene. *sigh*

I think what matters most is that you and your brother remain in touch and see each other occasionally.  It's unfortunate that his ex spoke badly of him thus upsetting you.  I would keep my distance from her and discourage any further disparaging of your brother. That was pretty low of her in my opinion.

To be clear, she disparaged him to HIM, in a long, ranting email, but she apparently had some good reasons. He decided to forward her message, which she only sent to him, to me for sympathy. Which I duly provided. I do want to stay on good terms with my brother, but her rant to him is something I should not really have seen.

I guess it shows we're all only human ...