Can anyone here recommend a good middle school close to SOMA?

Please report back on Winston Prep! I have a friend who is considering it... would love to hear other opinions.

Hi Susan,
As I've said before each child is different. I had one parent (not on this forum) insist that I send my child to the same school that her kid is in. What works for one, doesn't necessarily work well for another. That is why, I read each description online, then called the ones that seemed like a fit, and then visited schools to see which would work for my kid.

We went with Calais because my child has emotional issues having to do with ODD. He is doing well in some subjects and failing in others (math). For him, Calais seemed like a good fit because of the emotional support, counselors are on staff and in the building at all times, and the academic and trade tracks.

I found The Children's Institute to be good for kids in need of life skills. I heard their academic track was good, but I thought Calais' was stronger. My son doesn't need all those life skills that they teach at The Children's Institute. I liked Newmark too, but just thought Calais had more support for my kid. And I really liked the Banyan School. That was my second choice. We chose Calais over Banyan because I got the feeling that Calais was a bit tougher on academics and making my child do the work. Banyan was great--I would go there because it is laid back. My son needs a bit of a firmer hand.

So, again, I know I didn't answer your question. No parent can say "this school is right for your child." You have to visit and see for yourself. You can easily rule out some other schools if the program is too life skill oriented for kids with much more severe academic skills or schools where the emotional counseling was geared to kids with serious issues such as abuse.

I also liked the Shepherd School in Morristown, but Calais is closer.

--My two cents.

susan1014 - I PMed you.

All the best to you and your family, @michelechallow.

Susan, we know a family that sent their son to Craig. Not sure how impressed they were with the academics overall, but their son is now headed to a well regarded private college in PA.

Let me know if you'd like an introduction.

Thanks much...I'm collecting all the information that I can, and appreciate the leads and anecdotes.

carolanne said:

Jmansky, the sending district does pay for Sage. Not sure exactly how Naples act is different. It's a different funding stream or something and mostly matters for the bureaucrats. I got message and will be in touch soon.

Sage's website actually has a pretty good explanation of this:

http://www.sageday.com/about-us-2/naples-act/

As I now understand this, there are three tiers of how school districts pay for out of district students:

(NOTE: I am neither a lawyer nor an expert in this area, but am sharing my newbie understanding of the OOD funding system -- happy to be corrected by those who know more)

1. Placement to a school on the list of NJ-approved special education schools. I believe this can be a pretty standard process once you are over the (sometimes major) hurdle of getting the district to agree to OOD placement for a struggling child. District sends out files, outplacement schools assesses fit...

2. Naples Act placement -- NJ law that allows for placement into an accredited private school not on the NJ approved list, with various requirements for writing of an appropriate IEP involving (collaboration between school and CST to do this). This may require going through a separate school-specific admissions process (potentially including paying for outside testing to meet admissions requirements), and likely to require legal support, as well as support from the receiving school.

3. Conner ruling settlement -- based on a US Supreme court ruling allowing parents to pursue the placement that they believe a child needs, enroll the child, and then sue the District to get paid back for the educational costs. If the case is good (and with proper lawyers and a supportive receiving school), my understanding is that this tends to lead to a settlement for much, but not all of the cost of the placement. Obviously a big financial risk here, since parent pays first, then litigates to get back some/all of costs.

SUSAN - thank you for the explanation!
At last night's Winston Prep Open House, the Executive Director said the only funding options available for their New Jersey school, is via Naples Act or Connors ruling. I found that to be very offputting and a bit discouraging. I wonder if they have any long term plans to get on the New Jersey approvals list.

Esiders said:

SUSAN - thank you for the explanation!
At last night's Winston Prep Open House, the Executive Director said the only funding options available for their New Jersey school, is via Naples Act or Connors ruling. I found that to be very offputting and a bit discouraging. I wonder if they have any long term plans to get on the New Jersey approvals list.

I'm doubting it...they seemed very comfortable being a private school that takes Conner/Naples students and supports parents in legal proceedings, rather than being an approved receiving school. If you look at the website of their NYC site, it is clear that they are operating as a private school supportive of Connor cases.

They aren't the only ones to do things this way (see Sage, Barnstable and others)...not sure if it is about curricular freedom or the ability to appeal to well-heeled parents who would rather pay for expensive private school than have their kids classified. (not meant to sound snarky...if we earned enough to consider it, I'd happily skip CSTs and just write a big check)

I toured Calais. The child study team is suggesting Windsor in Pompton lakes and I'm going there Friday, I think. anyone go there? i'm worried about the long bus ride.

crazy_quilter said:

I toured Calais. The child study team is suggesting Windsor in Pompton lakes and I'm going there Friday, I think. anyone go there? i'm worried about the long bus ride.

My son is starting there in the Fall; we went for the interview at the end of the school year and the kids seemed very happy there.

If people are meeting for coffee and chat, I'd love to join. I have a 10-year old with ADHD/mild asbergers and I fear middle school.

Esiders said:

SUSAN - thank you for the explanation!
At last night's Winston Prep Open House, the Executive Director said the only funding options available for their New Jersey school, is via Naples Act or Connors ruling. I found that to be very offputting and a bit discouraging. I wonder if they have any long term plans to get on the New Jersey approvals list.

It might be similar to a specialist who won't take insurance, but you (the patient) can submit a claim to your insurance to get reimbursed. Dealing with individual school district guidelines and payments might be as complicated as dealing with private insurance. If they have enough families who can pay/sue for reimbursement, they might just prefer not to involve individual districts.

calypso said:

If people are meeting for coffee and chat, I'd love to join. I have a 10-year old with ADHD/mild asbergers and I fear middle school.

Summer is hard, but I'm looking to get something started in the fall!

Deleted (wrong thread)

marcav said:

crazy_quilter said:

I toured Calais. The child study team is suggesting Windsor in Pompton lakes and I'm going there Friday, I think. anyone go there? i'm worried about the long bus ride.

My son is starting there in the Fall; we went for the interview at the end of the school year and the kids seemed very happy there.

Hi Marcav, I tried to inbox you

My wife and I are totally in for a Fall coffee/drink group ...But frankly I think I will need a drink to discuss the District's support, middle school (a year away), OOD options, funding etc. We are navigating our 10 year old from a 504 to an IEP. We are doing everything possible and have numerous paid professionals helping us...and we are bleeding money -ugh. Private message me if you meet. Thanks and good luck to all on the next year!

How are things going for everyone so far? I toured Calais last week and it didn't seem suitable for my child. So far we've looked there, Craig and Winston and haven't found the right fit. He's too ADHD for Winston, Craig didn't like his social skills and he's doing too well academically for Calais. I'm now looking into parochial schools--I hear St. Rose of Lima in Short Hills is good. Any thoughts?

PLEASE COUNT ME IN FOR A GROUP FORUM, OFF LINE, FACE TO FACE. Oh, sorry for the caps!See that? I forget the caps lock! I guess my childs inherited this gene-based disability from me! ;-)

Best wishes to you all.

Have to brag about my son's school Sage Day in Mahwah. He and a few other students are actually taking high school algebra this year. WO is moving toward or has stopped offering advanced math, so this is one way he is better out of district.

@calypso it is far away, but one of my son's best friends has fairly significant ADHD, but is also very smart. He is doing well at Sage.

Good luck with the search.

calypso said:

How are things going for everyone so far? I toured Calais last week and it didn't seem suitable for my child. So far we've looked there, Craig and Winston and haven't found the right fit. He's too ADHD for Winston, Craig didn't like his social skills and he's doing too well academically for Calais. I'm now looking into parochial schools--I hear St. Rose of Lima in Short Hills is good. Any thoughts?

Which Winston did you check out? Winston School in Short Hills or Winston Prep in Whippany? I toured Winston School about 4 years ago and my kid was "too adhd" for them as well. You may want to check out Winston Prep.

We are a very, very happy St. Rose family! It's an incredible school, but I can't speak to their record on children with special needs.

ckdhaven said:

My wife and I are totally in for a Fall coffee/drink group ...But frankly I think I will need a drink to discuss the District's support, middle school (a year away), OOD options, funding etc. We are navigating our 10 year old from a 504 to an IEP. We are doing everything possible and have numerous paid professionals helping us...and we are bleeding money -ugh. Private message me if you meet. Thanks and good luck to all on the next year!

Let me give a plug for the Special Ed PTO, which meets for this purpose, and is for parents with kids both in-district and placed out-of-district. The meeting schedule is on the district website (link below) - first one is September 30.

http://www.somsd.k12.nj.us/Page/215

The Special Ed PTO is wonderful, but the meetings I've been to have always involved presentations, rather than providing an opportunity for informal chat and support (perhaps I've missed less formal nights). Finding a time to have an informal gathering is not meant to be a substitute for what the PTO does, but rather an unofficial supplement.

(I'll try to put my organizer hat on soon, but not tonight!)

I went to an open house for Winston Prep in Whippany. I was so impressed with the school but unfortunately the $60k/year cost is way out of our budget. I don't think they would ever be an official OOD school but they did talk about having lawyers/counselors on staff to help with the paperwork to go after the districts to get financial aid.

They don't use any one specific teaching methodology but cater to the learning needs of the student. And they try to create classes with like-minded children who can grow together.

The best thing that I walked away with was from the headmaster's presentation of the different types of learning disabilities and how they affect our kids. He talked about ADHD being over used to mask other learning disabilities (not saying that it didn't exist just that it was used as a catchall). That if your child doesn't understand what the teacher is talking about or isn't able to keep up with the discussion (such as writing notes and listening), why would they bother to continue paying attention.

That said, I would love to be included in a get together - be it drinks or coffee.

Still waiting on an IEP from the district (been working on it for the past 5 years, we are close now that we have gathered extensive documentation) so we as parents don't qualify for the "Special Ed PTO" - I called someone in the group and they said I couldn't come because my kid didn't have an IEP. The district still feels so far that my son is too bright for an IEP and working at grade level - he is considered "twice exceptional" by other professionals outside the district - tests as a 22 year old intellectually, but is a slow processor and needs help in writing to get the information in his active brain down on paper... he is bored and driving the teachers crazy, while still needing special help....so just another thing to chat about at an unofficial gathering of frustrated parental misfits.

ckdhaven said:

Still waiting on an IEP from the district (been working on it for the past 5 years, we are close now that we have gathered extensive documentation) so we as parents don't qualify for the "Special Ed PTO" - I called someone in the group and they said I couldn't come because my kid didn't have an IEP. The district still feels so far that my son is too bright for an IEP and working at grade level - he is considered "twice exceptional" by other professionals outside the district - tests as a 22 year old intellectually, but is a slow processor and needs help in writing to get the information in his active brain down on paper... he is bored and driving the teachers crazy, while still needing special help....so just another thing to chat about at an unofficial gathering of frustrated parental misfits.

I'm not sure who would have told you that about the PTO, or how long ago that was, but I can assure you that it is not the case -- all members of the parent community are welcome (Mrs. WB is currently on the executive committee, so I have first-hand confirmation). Note that starting this year the meetings will be held concurrently with the SEPAC meetings (http://somsepac.org). Not to detract from the value of informal get-togethers, of course, but you may find these meetings worthwhile too.

ETA: Also, totally relate with your problems with your 2e child -- I know from experience what a challenge it can be to (i) determine what the right supports should be and (ii) actually get them implemented.

@cdkhaven,
That drives me so crazy! 2e kids really, really get the short end of the stick. We had to hire a lawyer to even get the child study team to agree to an initial evaluation. We also had reports from outside experts. Now, he is finally thriving in an environment that is good for him, but I'm still learning just how much damage 6 years in general ed caused him. Good luck with your fight and seriously consider hiring an advocate or attorney.

As a parent who is somewhat further along in this process, and no longer living in the district, I'd like
to share what made the biggest difference for us: Camp Akeela in Vermont. It was transformative.
My son actually wrote his college admission essay about it.
www.campakeela.com

@debby,
That's so good to hear. I really wanted to send my son there this summer, but I just didn't have the funds. Do you know if there is any financial aid? When should I start the process for next summer?