Can anyone here recommend a good middle school close to SOMA?

I think there is some. I know it is very expensive, but worth stretching for. We used my son's bar mitzvah money (ie college money)

Has anyone found any social skills groups that actually made a real difference for Aspie's? When DD was young (K) we did one in Springfield that wasn't that helpful. I hear good things about "Bend Your Brain" in Morristown - but these tend to not take insurance and depend so much on the mix of kids in group...

jmansky,

I'm going to PM you on this, so that I can be more specific

Susan, do you mind pming me too? I could also use the info.

We've been doing social skills for years at the Jed Baker group, in Millburn. They don't take insurance, but will give you a receipt for reimbursement. My 13 yr old with Aspergers has been in the same group (with the same kids) since he was in 3rd grade (now in 8th). I highly recommend it. Note: There are a number of people in the practice and some may be a better fit for your child than others. If your first placement isn't a good fit, don't be afraid to speak up and change to someone else. So much of it is chemistry, which is necessary for building a trusting relationship.

JMan-
See if you can find a speech therapist who is using Michelle Garcia Winners social language curriculum. A different approach, which works better for some children. Not sure about insurance coverage of this.
PM for more info.

We had little dk at Bend Your Brain and it was the first place where we actually saw improvement. Previously she'd been at 4 different social skills groups as well as in school.

The whole premise of the therapy is so different. Basically, our kids know the rules of how they should behave but they do not know how to implement them or are even aware that they are not doing it properly. Alana Fichtelberg who runs the practice will interview both you and your child and then find the right fit. There are up to 4 kids per group and it is gender specific. I don't believe she takes insurance but will also give you a receipt for reimbursement.

Sadly, we had to stop therapy because there was only 1 other girl in her group and her parents did not realize this was a long term commitment and did not want to continue. We are waiting patiently for another girl little dk's age so she can start up again. Feel free to PM me if you want more details.

Alana apparently uses Social thinking/which is Michelle Garcia winner's curriculum. It is really good if it suits your child. I can recommend someone who does individual work in this area (not sure about groups).

How is the school year going for people?

Berkeley. Can you please PM me the name. I definitely would like to call them. Thanks!

What about the newer Free Democratic school? I think they're located at St. Joseph's. It sounds like they build custom curriculums for each child.

GreenEyedChick said:

What about the newer Free Democratic school? I think they're located at St. Joseph's. It sounds like they build custom curriculums for each child.

They couldn't handle my kid's behaviors.

Anyone at Newmark or know someone at Newmark who could send me a message? I just had a horrible tour of the school which was cut short by them. they are giving me a second chance but I don't know if I want one. on the other hand, I am running out of options! Son is having home instruction once a day for two hours, with a wonderful teacher currently, but I would like him back in school.

Crazy_quilter, can't figure out how to PM from my phone, so ping me later.

Hi, i sent you a message too!

So this year is not going well for my son and we are truly shopping for OOD placement. As a reminder, little Haven is 2e - so while sitting in his in-district classroom he gets bored because he is so smart, then his ADHD kicks in with his slow processing... and then he doesn't complete his work, and then is in trouble and punished... So everyone is fed up and frustrated (most of all him) so time to look elsewhere.
We are considering / about to tour Winston Prep & Barnstable Academy, and the district is suggesting we tour the state approved Chapel Hill & Calais (Calais now says they have a 2e program).. but worried these last two are not going to be a good match with him being so high functioning, and having an advanced intellect (he speaks and thinks like an adult). Newmark we were not impressed with. Any other College Prep curriculum with support schools we should be considering? Hudson School is only GT, Lange is too far and urban for him, and Lewis School & Cambridge School are also too far.
Also any of you successful with Naples funding with SoMaSD? Would love to know any success stories... Can you recommend your Naples lawyer? Thanks for your help, this process is exhausting!

Sage Day is a therapeutic school that uses Naples funding. We did not care for Chapel Hill or Calais when we visited a couple of years ago. Sage doesn't strictly offer G&T, but they are small enough that they can individualize instruction to some extent. They did offer algebra to 8th graders this year. Their high schools offer college prep and some asap classes.

Sussan and Greenwald are special Ed lawyers.

Wish Calais had mentioned that to me! My case worker was against Calais because he said they had accepted a couple of students and then found them too much to handle.
We were rejected by Winston Prep.
We are actually having an okay experience so far at Windsor Learning Center. Started in January.

Thanks carolanne & crazy_quilter for your response so far - it is frankly nice just to hear people out there that are in same boat. After I re-read my last post I want to clarify that we did not think Newmark is a good fit for OUR son - not that we were not impressed (ugh). We are impressed with the gamut of different schools, administrators & teachers in and out of district who support children with learning differences. What we are not impressed with is the limited 2e support in NJ!- so finding the proper match for our child is the challenge.

If you find someplace that does 2e well, please do report back...we found that nothing was a good fit for our 2e child, and that we had to try to figure out which is the least bad fit. We are still second guessing our decision a semester in, pushing to make it work, and trying to keep track of other alternatives.

If one E of the 2 Es is ADHD, would you consider meds --at least on a limited basis -- and keep him in public school? Maybe the meds would allow him to concentrate enough to be able to handle the most challenging classes. Two birds with one stone.

I agree no really good 2e options. Please do report back what you find.

I promise I will report back on 2e support, but so far it has been 5 years of beating our head against the wall. Shoshannah, your suggestion and approach was exactly we hoped for and experimented in 1st & 4th grade and the both years nothing worked - actually it was a horrible disaster of adverse reactions (our child falls in the 20% who don't react well to meds but have all the classic symptoms of ADHD). We have met with a battery of doctors, specialists, medical centers, advocates and lawyers and have pushed the limits of ourselves and the District. As I mentioned: he is very high functioning, and like other older extended family members, will hopefully learn to control it. We actually wish meds worked, and HE may want to experiment again when he meets adulthood...but my wife and I would not put him (and us) through that without he leading the request and journey. There is hope: I have a few clients who are non- medicated professionals with ADHD and are flourishing (emotionally and financially) - they have learned what they can and can't handle... like us all

I have not contributed to this thread, but have followed it closely. Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has contributed insights, ideas and personal anecdotes. It's amazing how much can be leared by listening when other parents talk. I'd be interested to know if any of you have considered boarding school options for kids with 2e profiles? If so, where should one focus?

Ckdhaven,

Even for kids do find that stimulants help when they're young, adolescence changes everything and you can wind up needing to alter medications then anyway.

But maybe that suggests an upside for your son? That is, perhaps meds that didn't work for him as a child might work better as an adolescent or adult. Plus, there are non-stimulant drugs that can be prescribed for adults and older kids, which can address some of the mood and neurological disorders often comorbid with ADHD (depression, anxiety, OCD, Tourette's, etc.).

We had a situation like yours, and were very lucky to (eventually) come across two excellent psychiatric professionals who were able to help our son. (I can think of four others who weren't.) We also sent him to a rigorous private school in grades 2-8 where the staff and teachers genuinely cared about him, pain in the ass though he undoubtedly was. In retrospect I believe that was one of the best decisions we made; but there were also several teachers at CHS who I think made a difference.

Sorry, what's 2e?

Twice exceptional.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twice_exceptional

Edited my post since Max already answered.

2E parents - have any of you tried using traditional private schools with support (like a shadow or paraprofessional) as your OOD placement? Several years ago, I found a local private school that had a "learning disabled/special needs" program. The program was an additional $16,000 (on top of the $30,000 annual tuition). I wonder if a parent could make a case for selecting that school as their child's special needs OOD placement.

ckdhaven -

I'm sorry to hear you have been banging your head against the wall. I wish I had a wonderful solution for you, but if I were in your shoes, I would reach out to Rita Voit at the Heroes Academy, http://www.njgifted.org/page?name=history#sthash.3pTT62U7.dpbs.

Rita's emphasis (and Heroes as well) is not 2e, it's profoundly gifted kids. However, I first heard about 2e kids at the conferences and events she organizes, about 7 years ago. She is a one woman powerhouse of organizing around the issue of education for profoundly gifted kids in NJ, and I'd guess that along the way she has also gathered a lot of information about resources for parents of 2e kids. At a minimum, she might be able to connect you with a wider network of parents in the same situation, or point you down new paths.

To be honest, it may also be a dead end, as it's not her focus, but it may be worth a call.

Good luck.

Thanks max-w for posting the Wikipedia description of 2e...it is spot on and we use it as a handout to every intake meeting. The entire list of strengths and deficits in that article hold true for Jr. Haven.
Also your comments ring true for many of what our support professionals have said regarding adolescents and the possible hope for the future regarding meds - that everything changes in the next few years. Also your post provides me with so much hope for the future (and there isn't a lot of that going around right now in our household).
So now I have three questions for you (I am holding my breath):
1. What rigorous private school did you send your "pain in the ass" before CHS? We are trying to find that rigor for our pain in the ass. We are exploring everything so would love to know if what specific school (or type of school) had "staff and teachers that generally cared about him".
That is EXACTLY what we are looking for.
2. What doctor or support team did you use for you son when he got older?
3. Is he meeting his potential in college (or equal) now?
If you want to private message me you can.