School Bully

Yet allowing someone to be mean to her person could damage her soul and not feel good to her.

I remember being in 7th grade and someone confused my name with  another and spread a rum sober that I was pregnant. I was mortified! I ran home to my mother and told her and without even looking at me she just said, "uck! Tell them you are having twins."

I never had to say that to anyone but just having that comeback in my head put a smile on my face. 

So this one person wrote to three others,""I hate you. You are worthless. You'd be better off dead. I can't wait to come to your funeral". She can't possibly believe that, can she? I always loved jerseyboy's response, "Thanks for letting me know." 

no one is allowing anything. It was stopped immediately. The child who did it was suspended from school and must enroll in some sort of counseling program. The victims were apologized to ( through a personal but anonymous note from the child and in person by the school principal) and the 3 victims were given group counseling services to help them understands t was not their fault, build their self-esteem and teach compassion.

" tell them your having twins" is a witty comeback that gives you control and disarms your bully. Teasing or being mean to another child  ( even if he/she isn't present) is teaching hate and that is not a direction I would take. 

oneofthegirls said:
So this one person wrote to three others,""I hate you. You are worthless. You'd be better off dead. I can't wait to come to your funeral". She can't possibly believe that, can she? I always loved jerseyboy's response, "Thanks for letting me know." 
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Believe what? I am not understanding.

That's why jerseyboy's response works perfect in so many situations. It acknowledges the bully and no further involvement is necessary. It sounds like the school handled this well. I'm certainly glad your niece has received counseling and hopefully she can release her fears and have more confidence in her future.

believe what?

expecting an 8 yr old child to brush off something like this with a "thanks for letting me know" is sort of silly. I'd think that would be a rough skill even for an adult to master ( not letting a note like that under their skin)

And if you were asking about she doesn't believe what was in the note, does she? Again, she's an 8 yr old girl child. She should probably be expected to be pretty rattled, no?

conandrob240 said:

oneofthegirls said:
So this one person wrote to three others,""I hate you. You are worthless. You'd be better off dead. I can't wait to come to your funeral". She can't possibly believe that, can she? I always loved jerseyboy's response, "Thanks for letting me know." 
">

Believe what? I am not understanding.

Oh. What the bully said - that in any way she could ever consider herself worthless. I remember a saying from my childhood, " I'm rubber and you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you."  It just means that the bully is really thinking that about themselves which is a horrible thought to have in any case.

yawn

conandrob240 said:
expecting an 8 yr old child to brush off something like this with a "thanks for letting me know" is sort of silly. I'd think that would be a rough skill even for an adult to master ( not letting a note like that under their skin)
And if you were asking about she doesn't believe what was in the note, does she? Again, she's an 8 yr old girl child. She should probably be expected to be pretty rattled, no?

Well, I came from a large Irish-Norwegian family, 5th born in 11 kids. There was plenty of bullying and on the streets of Bayridge Brooklyn, with every other house being Norwgian or Italian, one little Italian girl decided to call me a square head. The way she said it with the scowl on her face I thought it was really mean so I ran home to my mother and told her. I was 4 years old. My Irish mother said, "oh, that just means you're Norwegian."  I wasn't rattled anymore.

conandrob240 said:
yawn

Thanks for letting me know. I'll stop now. 

Seems like the school has done as much as it possibly could in this situation.  That said, I would still recommend keeping a close eye on the bullied child for awhile to make sure there are no long term effects from this experience.