There Ought to be a Law

There oughta be a law against people wearing Brooklyn shirts who are not from Brooklyn. I wanna see a birth certificate.

There ought to be a law banning cars from making any noise when someone presses the button on their key fob to lock/unlock the door.  

There ought to be a law against people I work for, doctors and national politicians being younger than me.

against cars with purposely built loud exhaust pipes. especially the one on the morning paper deliverers car.

There ought to be a law against those coffee can mufflers on little Hondas and other import cars (very loud and obnoxious).

There ought to be a law requiring the jitney drivers to make sure there aren't people still at the station before they pull away. 

There ought be a law against saying 'between you and I.'

There ought to be a law against using the word "unique" as if it had degrees.

You mean like Unique, Ph.D.? Or Unique, JD?

There ought to be a law against asking for a contractor who will be experienced, on time, perfect and cheap, and then next week asking for hotel advice for Aruba because you are bored with your regular hotel.

There ought to be a law disallowing co-workers from clipping their nails, slurping their coffee, eating crunchy foods... oh hell, let's add breathing.   

marylago said:
There ought to be a law disallowing co-workers from clipping their nails, slurping their coffee, eating crunchy foods... oh hell, let's add breathing.   

 I'm sure this is already covered by litter laws but I'd like it elevated to a felony:  using and then throwing on the street or sidewalk those plastic, single use dental floss thingies.  What's up with that? 

In a similar vein, bagging the dog poop and then leaving the bag at the curb.  If you're to lazy to walk it to a garbage can, don't bag it.  The plastic is probably worse than the poop. 

Njjanyce said:
There ought be a law against saying 'between you and I.'

 Ahh...thought I was alone in this peeve - linguists call it hypercorrection.

...also people who use "amount" for "number" as in "The amount of people at the beach amazed me."

...and pronounce an H between s and t, as in Main Shtreet. OK, I'm done. This is a very satisfying thread...and no arguments so far.

"Utilize" is like finger nails on the chalkboard.  Good old fashioned, unpretentious "use" gets the job done.  

(Pssst. Between you and I, avoid Gary Shteyngart if you dislike authors who utilize a unique amount of literary tricks. Or don’t. As Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”)

DaveSchmidt said:
(Pssst. Between you and I, avoid Gary Shteyngart if you dislike authors who utilize a unique amount of literary tricks. Or don’t. As Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”)

 I liked Absurdistan.

DaveSchmidt said:
(Pssst. Between you and I, avoid Gary Shteyngart if you dislike authors who utilize a unique amount of literary tricks. Or don’t. As Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”)

 At least you didn't say "extremely unique".

mrincredible said:

At least you didn't say "extremely unique".

 I was going to get to it in degrees.

Ban all business management jargon.

Please.

 Grammar/language friends: the perennial ‘less’ vs ‘fewer’ abuse!!!   

drummerboy said:
Ban all business management jargon.

There Ought to Be a Synergy of Best Practices

joanne said:  
Grammar/language friends: the perennial ‘less’ vs ‘fewer’ abuse!!!  

A scofflaw with which I can live.

DS: that clip made my afternoon, thank you

Nevertheless, there's a time and place for poetic licence, to use some cliches, and people who mix up 'less' and 'fewer' generally aren't poets or lyricists. Sigh.

Legal limits of poetic license in song lyrics.  Thou shall not (a) express romantic hurt as "cutting like a knife" or any variation thereof, or (b) characterize one's feelings as being "deep inside."

bub said:
Legal limits of poetic license in song lyrics.  Thou shall not (a) express romantic hurt as "cutting like a knife" or any variation thereof, or (b) characterize one's feelings as being "deep inside."

Clemency here, too.

joanne said:
 Grammar/language friends: the perennial ‘less’ vs ‘fewer’ abuse!!!   

 +

bub said:
Legal limits of poetic license in song lyrics.  Thou shall not (a) express romantic hurt as "cutting like a knife" or any variation thereof, or (b) characterize one's feelings as being "deep inside."

 ---guess I gotta throw out my Supremes cd.

O.B.A.L. To require “No Turn On Red” signs to be placed on uniform positions on all traffic control lights.